Monday, 21 March 2016


If there is one thing I have never understood about marriage is how people just get the right person and happily get married.  Have you ever felt like that?  I guess I am the only one and let me just tell you, if there is a place I have been tempted and fallen big time in my entire life, is about relationships that end up broken.  But now i clearly know where i went wrong.  

I had thought all along I am a beautiful woman, a girl after God’s heart and my list is endless, until I came to know the problem is not the men that came my way, but myself.  Allowing men do things that cannot be imagined in this world and you continue saying you love them, and you are ready to get married to them, that is the most weird thing on this planet.  But I won’t lie to you, that was my world and many women have done exactly what I have done.  Only to learn at 40 in my case, men are not your fathers and grandfathers.  You need to style up and know what kind of a man you would want in this life and go for him; not just people who will take you for a tissue paper or a better word to use, "for granted."

Many ladies have told me about their stories and the men who have married them and I am left asking what is so wrong with me that no man treats me that well?  I am always taken like a trash and a tissue paper that need to be done nothing else, but to be used and placed at the right place and that is the toilet and flashed never to be seen or just thrown on the walk path for all to be see it has been rightfully used, unfortunately thrown at the wrong place.  It sounds so harsh but i will say clearly and categorically that, that has been my world you like it or not.  I am not blaming anybody here when i say all this, but i want to tell us who like playing naive and silly, we need to style up.  You do not need to be 40 to learn things the right way, you need to be connected with the right people, right information and a God who really cares, loves and helps us to pick the right ways and not the wrong ways at all ages.

My friend, today I want to make a confession I have never made in my life and to correct those who know me especially personally because they have heard a lot about me, positive or negative.    I want to say, please do not label any man that you suspect or think i had any relationship with  for a bad man.  It is not about the man but about this woman who is cool, calm and collected but did things just the wrong way in the name of doing the right things to make a man love and marry her.

A lesson I have learnt at 40 is that, a man will always marry the woman he wants and he will not look at the way she will give in to his advances but he is the only one who knows why he picks that girl who has nothing to offer and leaves you who have all to offer.  My take is, let the man look for you and not you looking for him, that is simple.  And do not think when you will win him with your advances that are so acted up, you will make it.  That is a lie that will only enter your nerves when you get in that relationship that will end up in a bad divorce or live regretting for the rest of your life.     

Yes, you will act, you will make him fall in your trap but let me tell you, when he gets to know who you really are, he will run for his heels and never to come back and you will be left there saying, men are dogs!  Unfortunately, he will also be singing women are 'bitches'.  The thing here is that, no human is an animal.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made and we are God's image.      The best thing to do as a woman on waiting is, be yourself, do the right things at the right time and wait for him patiently focusing on the one who divinely connects the two that he has purposed to bring together.  He is our amazing God and the secret is not taking the detours but walking the narrow path that leads you to eternity rather than the wide road that leads to destruction.   The fact is, you will go to his house, cook for him, clean his house, and make him happy the whole night but he will never marry you but take the woman he has always wanted and loved.  Criteria to doing that, I can’t tell it, it is only him who can tell us, because men are different and they have their own unexplained tastes and preferences.

Do you want to get married like me?  Please mind your business and love on God and the guy will trace you and will be connected with you at the right time.  I know that can take ages, but it would rather take ages than go through a pain that you can never heal yourself from, unless you seek God earnestly to heal you, which is also not an easy journey.  Forgiving a man who has hurt you is not an easy task, but seeking the one who forgives and helps you forgive those who terribly hurt you, is the best decision you can ever make. 

As I wait now, I know where I went wrong and I have corrected all and learning more from the right sources.   Today, i am your mentor, adviser and friend who can only guide you on not taking the wrong path, but guide you through the journey in a friendly and genuine way. I know i made many mistakes, but today, i know and believe i am wired for greatness!  It is from my mistakes that i have learnt all my weak points and corrected them all and continue to correct.   Not forgetting that, it has not been a very easy journey but worth the price i have paid for the man God has been preparing for me.  He will find a ready woman who will love him for who he is, respect him, submit to him and keep it warm through thin and think with a hope of living happily ever after as the tale goes with the help of God.   I can’t wait to tell my story because, “faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” 

Wait patiently on the Lord and he will not let you down.  He is not a man to lie to us nor is he a man that he will change his mind! 

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