Thursday, 31 October 2013


In the recent past, I have been analyzing my personality and I have always wondered why God created me like this.  To be precise, let me hit the nail on the head and say I am a sanguine.  Oh!   Yes I am.  I am not regretting to be created one because of late am loving my personality that I used to hate in the past for some reasons that are common to many sanguine.  We hate criticism and we love to be heard and our problems solved there and then. 

Let me go slightly deeper so that you understand me and where I am coming from with my personality.  If you are like me, then I am speaking to you personally and I want to just share with you my sentiments in relation to our personality. 

Usually I am more naturally active, expressive, social and interested in many things.  When I say I am naturally active, I mean usually I hate being idle and you will always find me doing something, I like expressing myself so much in a very detailed manner and I want you to feel me fully. I am social and I have no problem talking to a stranger.  Actually you will find me sharing very deep things to a stranger and I am not ashamed nor do I even ask whether that person finds me crazy or not.  As long as the person is ready to listen to me, ohh yes!!!! You will read me like a book because I will tell all what is in my heart in a deep way without fear to be judged or taken negatively because what I want is to release it and I will pour it out to you.  Usually I am interested in many things and when I try whatever it is, that is when I will make my conclusion about whatever in a positive or negative way (what i mean is that after I have an experience first then make my judgement).  I guess you understand me by now in relation to where I direct my energy. 

Usually I am practical and literal.  I am usually real and I do not deal with anything that is on assumptions.  I am very literal because I am usually honest and truthful.  When you lie to me or try to manipulate me I feel very frustrated and that does not arguer very well with me because I can be a drama queen to some extent.  I know I have a common sense because of my sensitivity I try to use my common sense so much.  I do not need to be explained if I pinch you what you will feel.  I already know and that is why I try to avoid hurting you and prefer you hurt me instead.  Now getting me?  Let us go on.  There is a reason why I am trying to express myself because most of the time people do not understand me.  And usually they think I do not know myself. I thank God for education and reading wide makes you understand who exactly you are and how you can relate with others even in your good or worse personality.  The fact here is that you can’t change who you are, but you can change how to handle issues and people by understanding who exactly you are.  I have been struggling in the past to try and understand why people behave the way they do towards me when I relate with them and today it is not an issue because that is how everyone will take me because that is what they see about me.  But when they stay with me they appreciate who exactly I am just because they accommodated me as I am.  And if you are not ready to accommodate me, then you will just live with your judgment as you perceive and I can’t change that. 

Most of the time I am very sensitive in the sense that I am always suspecting anyone who comes my way especially when you try to be good to  me.  You have to prove to me that you are genuine and my sensitivity enables me to judge exactly who you are and by my reaction I will know who I am dealing with and that enables me to trend carefully knowing  that I do not want to be hurt or hurt the other one.  Though the latter is always my best option so that I do not go feeling guilty and the stuff. I want you to carry your load and I will always allow you to offend me and not me offending you.  I am really empathetic.  I always feel people and I always wish I had all the monies in this world I take care of all the needy and the sick.  I like helping and feeling others and that is my hobby because it helps me reach out to everyone who I think needs help.  This also helps me fight for the others rights and also mine in a very strong way, I know I love facts and when you explain to me with facts exactly what you are going through I know I can go out of  my way and help where possible and I do not judge at all.  I will judge when I see things that do not conform to what you are preaching or trying to portray.   I love peace and I hate crossing anyone’s boundaries and when I cross and hurt anyone I am ready to ask for forgiveness and I am always praying that you will accept my forgiveness and we continue from where we left without grudges.  So far, anyone feeling me?  Let me go on.  I tend to be very flexible and I can just change a course even in the middle of a project and that will never hurt me as long as I will achieve my goal.  For example, I will trust you in the first place, but when I realize you are not trust worthy I will deny you all the rights and I will not care what you have profited me with and I can sacrifice and loose everything and start all over again as long as you will not keep your promise.  I do not know if I have been understood there.  I mean I am one person who can just change drastically and you wonder if I am the same humble character because I can become wild in a click of a second and you will be shocked on how I have changed just depending on the level of humiliation or hurt.  I am very curious and I do not believe in cheap or free things.  I want to know facts why would you want to do abcd to me and I have not worked for it.  I want to know what is your motive before anything and thus I have to scrutinize you without your knowledge and I will get you.  I am usually not conforming and thus it is not easy to understand me unless you stay close with me.  The people who can really get this point are my children because they know exactly who I am.  Most of the time I am mysterious and strange but my children understand me so well and that is why they tell me I am their best mother ever and they can never trade me with any other mother. Ohhhhhh!  (I love that remark because besides my Father in heaven who loves me just the way I am, there are two angels I live with that love me that much and they are my two sons Collins and Calvin)    That (nonconforming) enables me to be complicated and not easy to understand as much as I talk my heart out.  Because I can tell you this and the next minute I will tell you something totally different. That is me.  No wonder I did a personality test somewhere and I was told, out of one thousand people I has my personality and that now makes me understand I do not need to worry when I am in a group of less than 1000 people because on a very rare occasion no one will react like me or be like me.  That makes me love myself very much and I know God created me for a reason to have such a personality.  I understand in USA people with my personality are 4 to 9%.  Do not worry where I got all these, but internet will give you so many answers to some things you would never have known and that is why it is good to be technologically up to date because you will learn so much from the net.  I guess now you have a hint of what kind of a person I am.  I might not really say per say who I am here but at least I have put a cross my rough imagine of who exactly I am. 

The statement that “TO YOU VOCAL WOMAN OUT THERE, DO NOT SHUT UP UNTIL YOU ARE HEARD!” I was speaking to myself because I have realized most of the time when I interact with people, I am shunned, rejected, pinned down, and the list is endless. When I express myself it even becomes crazy because people tend to think I am crazy.  Usually I am not crazy I am just who God created me to be in expressing myself.  That is why I will always fight for those who are looked down upon because I am their voice.  Today I am glad that I am called a child of God because I can easily tell you the love of Christ and you will agree or disagree but I will have told you what the Lord has told me whether you like it or not.  Most of the time when I keep quite and I am humiliated, when I talk or be the real me you will be shocked what I will say and by this time I am pinned to a corner and I feel I can’t wait but express myself until I am heard.  What am I talking about?  My friend it does not matter who you are.  You might not have my personality but can you respect who you are and love yourself. If you need to scream aloud can you scream aloud they hear you?  That is what they what to hear, you scream so that they can listen.  No one should shut you down and when your energy goes down, then calm down and even when you see no one is ready to hear you, just for your sake keep quiet and listen to yourself and hearken to what you hear yourself telling you.  No one should shut you up if you have to be loud to be heard. 

I am saying this because I had to talk it out in a situation that I was really put down upon in my place of work and today I am eating the fruit of talking it out using the wisdom of God.  Even if I scream God has taught me how to scream in a very soft way that now they have to sit and listen to me.  Remember, I have said WISDOM because sometimes you will forget and be yourself and that will not be a good thing.  But when you use WISDOM even in that ugly scenario of looking crazy while expressing yourself, they will listen to you.  I do not need to scream aloud and cause drama, but use the wisdom of God even in my screaming and that has worked for me. 

I do not know if I have encouraged anyone, but I felt like putting down this for myself and those who feel me will keep me going and it is good to LOVE WHO GOD HAS CREATED YOU TO BE.  HE HAD A PURPOSE TO CREATE YOU THAT WAY.  PURPOSE TO LIVE FOR HIM AND FIND YOUR PURPOSE TO SERVE HIM WITH YOUR PERSONALITY!

Let me leave you with this. You can express yourself just the way you are through Christ who created and knows you because he is usually your strength.  If you fight with your strength it will be really hard.  But if you put Jesus number one, he will make you do anything that you want and everyone will listen to you even those who are not ready to listen to you.  And even if everyone refuses to listen to you, JESUS is there listening to you.  Just speak to him day in day out and he will be your answer!

God bless you and have a wonderful time.