I know that query really looks fit to be answered by women because they are the ones who wear wigs. For those who do not know what wigs are, these are the fake hairs; we women put either like a hat or weaved on our heads which look exactly like our hairs. Many cannot really tell they are not our hairs for they look so marvelous and sweet on us. Our self-esteem really goes high when we put them on, as in; they bring an elegancy in us especially when we want to really look elegant and glamorous, a look that our natural hairs do not bring out. It is not a bad thing to put a wig or weave to look stunning, that should be clear. But I want to use the wig illustration to tell my story and also minister to you. Actually in my thirties years now, it is dawning on me that, I really need them as never before because of the challenge I am facing with my hairline that is really cutting and leaving it bald, in other words, loosing hair around the hairline which is now going backwards. Laughs! Before I was really judging people with wigs and weaves though once in a while I would wear them just to feel good. Now I really understand what role the wigs and weaves play in women’s life because I am in that space as I write this down.
When I was growing up, I had this very beautiful hair, full in the head and very black. Actually I was a very beautiful young girl who had this nice hair and a nice body that not many affirmed, and the few who did it, made me feel so nice. Actually I remember one person who told me that my hair looks so nice just like a horse’s tail. That remark made me swing and feel on the top of the world. Unfortunately he did not tell me it is short lived. I was in my early teens. But in my early twenties when I got my first child, this beautiful hair started failing me and as I am told it is because of change of hormones because of bearing children, but I could not understand why God could allow me go through this torture. If someone prepared me all along, I think that could not be an issue because in recent past I was really praying and asked God to forgive me if I sinned against him as He is using the hair thing to punish me. I remember the answer He gave me was, “Look at your mother’s head. She was as beautiful and with beautiful hair like yours. But since this is a genetic thing, you have to go through the same thing. But for you, you are in a better position because now you know, work it out for you that you take care of the hairline and take others measures that ought to be taken to take care of the falling hair and the diminishing hair line”. That sounds harsh yeah! But it is a reality and many can support me. But I know someone is laughing hard at me wondering, how can God talk to me like that and answer such a prayer? I will tell you, when you have a personal relationship with God, that is how he will talk to you in all situations. You will be shocked that God is a man like you and human like you and feels you just as you always feel. That is why He came as a man so that you can understand; you were created in his image. He feels all the pain you feel, all the fears you fear, all what you feel and go through. God knows and understands all what you are going through no matter how big or small they are, relevant or irrelevant they are. One thing one should know about our God is that, he is concerned about your little useless prayers/endevours and our big useful prayers/endevours. Sometimes, the things we ask of the Lord look so silly to others though to us concerned they really matter so much. A woman of my caliber now understands what if feels not to look so good and the pay off of it. I will tell you the picture that comes out when one does not look attractive, brings about rejection, unworthiness, feeling so down and low and many others that weigh us down in our daily life. I have learn my lesson the hardest way that, having a good look and portraying the right imagine really speaks a lot about you because, when the Lord sends you to speak to the people, they are able to marry what you are saying and the imagine they see about you. On the highest occasion you will find yourself speaking to people and them responding better when you have be best image than when not. So, to be able to add value in whatever you have been sent to execute, you have to look good and give the right picture that is needed in order to pass the message and people to believe in you. You can imagine a mad man coming to preach to you, you will all run away because you all know what a mad man does! Laughs! In the recent past I realized God has given me all these responsibilities in my hands and I need to change some things in me in relation to the way I look. I have never cared so much about how I look as in that ignorant whisper has been telling me, do they dress you, do they provide anything to make you look good? And has time has gone by; I have found many people not listening to me and not adhering to what I am saying but judge me so harshly. That attitude from the people I interact with often really kept pulling me down. When, I prayed and I asked of the Lord what is wrong with me, the Lord told me, ‘Rose you have really worked on your inside so much but you have neglected your outside’. I was like really? Something kept on telling me the only person who knows about my both inside and outside is only God. But the people can never know what is inside me but see the outside which they always judge. When I say the outside I mean both in the way you present yourself and your actions. So the message that I was giving them with the way I looked is that, I am not good enough as I spoke because I did not represent the messenger in the way I looked and acted in some talks. As in what I say, does not conform to my outside. So I said I will now work out on my outside so that the Lord can complement it with the inside. This is a process too that I am working on and at the same time I want to help those who are at my level and struggling with the same. Let me tell you the truth, God is really working wonders’ in my life. This is a true testimony. Just listening to him and the correction to make me his perfect person for His Kingdom, this is amazing and I love my fellowship with the Lord. It is a sweet journey that I would encourage many to take.
In the recent past, I made some lines on my hair (plaiting) that I am not very used to making because of the amount of money I had. That decision, did not work out so well for me as much as I tried to bring this new look. So, the day I removed them (undid) I was in shock, as in my hairline now worsened and I looked horrible. I could not even look at myself on a mirror. So I decided to look for a piece of cloth to hide all that shame but I looked worse. I could not believe my eyes. Gosh! Looking at the mirror was the hardest thing for me. I did not get mad at God but asked Him, ‘Lord, surely is this how I will look in front of people when you send me?’ I prayed and asked God to give me solutions. When I saw a lady looking good on their hair, I stopped them and asked them who their hair dresser is. Most of them were so shocked how I could have such guts to ask because in Nairobi when you ask someone anything, you are a suspect of anything you do not know. I ignored the embarrassment that come with that action and in the process I got three hair dressers. I went visited them and asked them what can I do. The answers they were giving me, were, I do exactly what I did in the past that has left me even worse. I did not object them or make them feel they are not up their game, but I pointed out that I will pay a visit later for more advice but never committed to them as I knew I would not do what they said, as it failed me before. I asked the Lord what to do and I remember when I was praying, the Lord reminded me of a Nigerian Man who had come to my office in Immigration when I was working there in 2005. I went to my archive and got a book I had written telephone numbers that I had recorded there in that time, and got his number. He had come to Kenya to do business where he takes care of women’s hair with human hairs, weaves and other nice accessories. I got the number and I embarked on calling him. To my surprise he was still using the same number and asked him where he was. He told me he is still where he had rented basing on the last time we met. I did not hesitate I went to his business premises running because I knew I might get the solution to my hair. I was so happy to see the way the Lord has blessed him and the business is marveling and doing so well. I told him I was in dilemma about my hair. He told me if I can try a wig. I told him this time round I am not going to choose on anything but go for what will change my look because I looked so old and outdated.
He got one of the ladies and told them to get for me the wig that will fit me. I got two nice wigs. Let me now share my testimony. The minute I wore the wigs and put my best dress, I changed in a twinkle of a second and I looked stunning. No one could believe it was me. I have now received a million affirmations that I am a very beautiful woman. I can’t imagine what I have been missing out. That has given me a very high self-esteem that is taking me to my right place.
Wait a minute! One day when I was just working on my head and it was the time to put on the wig, I asked myself, won’t I be lying to the world, that, I am not who the wig makes me to be, Because I really look stunning and very beautiful with my new look as everyone is telling me I am beautiful? An inner voice told me, do not neglect your short hair inside, and take good care of it just as the outside because you do not know what will happen in the future, because the devil can try to embarrass you and the wig falls off, or you just decide you are fed up with the wig thing and you become real. I said to myself, actually the inner hair is the one I am using a lot of money on, to take care of because of the hairline and ensuring it will grow well and give a nice natural look when that time of removing the wig comes. What point am I trying to put across? The wig and the weaves I have been talking about all along, is an illustration to make you understand that, it represents who we really are as persons. The short hair inside growing it stands for your hearts and our Spiritual life. Just the way we take care of our outlook, we also ought to take care of our spiritual lives in the inside. What do I mean? As a child of God you should be the disciple of the Lord. Get to know what your purpose is and what God has called you to do in the His Kingdom. If he has called you to be a Prophet, Intercessor, Priest, Good Samaritan, Care giver, lover of the Oppressed and my list is endless, please, get to know what God created you for so that you can serve him with all your gifts. The short hair growing inside and the failing hairline, is our inside life, our hearts and the level of our salvation which is very sensitive. When you take care of your heart and do right by listening to the voice of God, then you will grow spiritually inside and you will be of good to the people around you and you will surely be a disciple of Jesus when you love others and serve them. The failing hairline is our weaknesses that we need to work on because no one is perfect and no one has arrived. We are all in a journey and God is taking us through it at different levels. Start from where you are. If you are at that short hair please nature it until you grow it to a level that you won’t need a wig anymore (reach maturity) whereby you will be happy for who God has made you to be no matter what.
I am so happy for what the Lord is doing in my life. My story about my wig is my Testimony and I am praying that the Lord will also speak to you. My dear friends, those wigs, weaves, cosmetics and others especially for women, I would ask, what is beneath them? Is it hate, bitterness, anger, pride, jealousy, back biting, fear and others that are not the fruits of the Holy Spirit or what? I know men are wondering what I will pick for them as an illustration to point out the same message. My dear brothers (men) what is behind that nice suit, that good job, that good and nice car you ride every day and heads go turning, that business that God has blessed you with, that family, that beautiful girlfriend or wife that you feel is everything to you in place of God, and other things that we really value more that our God, what is it, is it intimidation, rape, drugs, adultery, boasting, love of money and the list is endless. What is it?
I would like to encourage ourselves that we love the Lord with all our hearts and mind. First we give our lives to him those who have not done so and those who have, we go back to the drawing board and ask of Him, what am I not doing that I ought to do to give God glory from both my inside and my outside? I have realized the place we all run to thinking is the safest place, that is the Church, is all where all the evil was dumped because we allowed to go to the church with our baggage’s but never released them to our Lord so that he can ease them from us. We ought to take our baggage of sins and burdens to the Lord’s feet and this means, having a personal relationship with him so that he can deal with us both in the inside and in the outside. I will ask everyone who goes to church, what do you go to do in that church? Do you go there to revenge, to vent, to take your stress out, to hate on people, to show your pride and arrogance, what exactly do you do there in that church you say you go to serve and be ministered to? The house of God is a place where we as Christians should show the love of God by, caring about others, lifting others and identifying their gifts and helping them bring themselves out for the kingdom, the place of healing, those depressed find peace and tranquility, those left out find a home, those hurting find a place to cry out at and get help, a place that one makes it a home, even to the worst sinners giving them hope and not judgment, a place to call heaven. I have come to realize many of us Christians are worse of the worldly people and we need a change both in our inside and outside so that we can be used of the Lord. Let us look at ourselves from where we stand as per now and see where we are wrong and work it out asking God to help us through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You who does not know the Lord, can you first give your life to the Lord and look for a Bible believing Church and grow with them. That is your assignment from now. For us who are born again, can we go back and remember our first love and look for where we went wrong and seek God again so that we be revived and do what God has called us to do? Let me finish by saying, there is hope to everyone and we should never give up at all. Be blessed and have a lovely time!