Thursday, 18 July 2013


I have been yearning to get something to write since it has taken sometime since I lastly wrote on my blog.  I always feel I have something to write but I am happy to say, this morning the Lord gave me something to write about, not what I wanted to write but what He wanted me to write.  Most of the time when am writing here,  it is something that is deep from my heart and I know that is what is of God because He prepares me to write about it and thus I feel now the psyche to sit down and take my sweet time to write.  I thank God for this good friend he has divinely connected me to Rev. Steven A. Knotts.  He is a friend that I have not met but he has been my encouragement to my life I have his link I can share with you my good reader, he can be of help to you through his ministry (   Most of the time when I come to my blog I find that it has been viewed by so many people.  One may have visited more than once may be that is how they look many I do not know, but the one who has assigned me this hidden ministry knows me and why he is using me in this secret place to minister to all these people because GOD loves them too.  He has made me go through all what I have gone through and given me this opportunity to write what is in my heart as a way of helping my good friends and readers. 

I thank God for you all who read my blog.  If you really want to contact me you can use my email address   Kindly just introduce yourself how you met me and ask any question you want to ask I will be able to walk with you.

Today in the morning (18.07.2013), when I was coming to the office, I really wanted to write and I asked God, you have taught me something this week that I would want to share with the world and especially those who are going through what I am going through.  I felt very excited and I wanted to go straight  to my writing but I kept feeling like going to check my mails because I was expecting a mail from this good friend of mine that God connected me with sometime back but had lost contact with him.  Something funny one day I was looking for an address for a site that I had registered with one time in relation to relationships so that I can start all over again and get a friend so that it can end up in marriage.  In the process I got the contact of this friend of mine who was so good to me that time and he gave me a lot of encouragement.  I remembered exactly the seed he planted in my heart that time.  I may have not taken him that seriously that time because I had just bumped on him on the net one time I was looking for the word of God to get some encouragement.  And he gave me his site and email address that I used to share with him. But I got so busy with my things and I was overwhelmed with what I was going through and lost contact with him.  So this particular day, I met his address and I rekindled the friendship by sending him a mail.  It was such an amazing response, that he still remembers me and cares about me only that I had taken time to talk to him because in his settings all those who do not communicate in around 90 days automatically you are deleted from system because he ministers to hundreds and hundreds of people and I can imagine it can be cumbersome.   But I am so excited that even when you are automatically deleted from the system that has already been set, God will always make a way where there seems to be no way.  Emails keep all the records as long as they are not deleted and information is always there you can have all the contacts you had since you got them and this is how I was able to retrieve the contact of my friend Rev. Steven A. Knotts.  Whom I thank God for, because he has been my source of encouragement guess what?  He also reads my blog and encourages me to continue writing as I hear from God.  He has affirmed me that I am doing a good job because I rarely get comments from my blog.  Now I know I may look like am doing nothing, but I am impacting so much in the unseen world.  Thank you man of God for this word of encouragement!    

I have wanted my Pastor to have that passion of hearing my story and walking with me and I am amazed of how he can use his Servant all the way in South Africa someone I have never met to really feel me and walk with me.  I am excited about Brother Steve because that is a ministry right there.  And guess what? Before I decided to do my writing today, I checked my mail and there was his mail that was so timely and encouraging that gave me the stamina to write this article today.  This friend of mine was in my shoes one time and God used him to go through all what he went through so that one day he can be my source of encouragement and stand with me by showing me that all is not lost.  When you walk with Christ he will always be there for you and connect you to the right people who will take you to your next level in your healing, freedom and other things.  It does not matter who he will use, he is a faithful God.  Friends welcome today to my sharing about “Are you hurting?  Imagine stop and let it go!”

In the past like one month I have been wanting to meet someone who really hurt me because I thought if I meet this person, I will get my healing and be able to forgive fully.  I have come to realize as much as I wanted to meet this person to reconcile and hear from his mouth why he hurt me this deep, the devil is also listening and would be want to be part of it so that he can take advantage of his manipulative ways to put me down in the essence that I am looking for peace and healing but he also knows my weakness.  But I thank God now I have known where my weakness was and he can’t capture me but see my back.   

I have also come to realize, as I have the mind of God that we should forgive each other and live in peace, the devil will also want to get his share if you are friends.  In this case I mean if he knows you can compromise and he takes advantage of you. I have come to realize as I sought for this friend of mine because I felt bad every time I remembered him and I really wished him bad because I could imagine the pain that he brought in my life during the time he hurt me.  In the process I have learnt, this person is not the problem but I am in the problem.  I know I will shock you when I say this.  I am saying this because as much as am saying this person hurt me, I guess they do not feel it at all because if they felt it, they would be on their knees asking God to forgive them and look for me seriously to seek forgiveness from me and not vice versa.  That is because they hurt me.  It sounds funny but I know many people are there. 

Today from my sharing, I know I will speak to many people who are hurting and wishing those who hurt them would face the music and pay the price as I have been wishing about this friend of mine.  Let me tell you, you might be writhing in pain waiting for the time they will be announced that they are going through a difficult time so that you celebrate.  But I will ask you, when you wish them that bad as I am wishing for my friend what will you gain out of it?  Will you recover the pain and the trauma that you have gone through from the pain implicated by this person?  My answer will be NO!  (Remember I am also preaching to myself am not an exceptional here)  Because the problem is not the person but you!  Gosh you are asking where is your problem.  I will share my revelation in regards to this hurt so that you will understand why it was my problem.  Most of the time when we have a weakness it will always attract the evil one to take advantage of you in one way or another.  Surely if I saw it coming in the first place I would not have let this person hurt me this deep.  He hurt me so deep because I allowed him to hurt me this deep.  How?  I had seen so many red flags but I ignored them just because I wanted him to be my life partner forgetting there are basics.  This article showed the red flags right there.  I guess the person who wrote this had me in mind because this is exactly what I went through and it is painful.    “Stop calling someone who never picks up or takes forever to call you back because such a person lacks common courtesy, such a person may be in love with someone else or simply using you at his or her convenience.  Stop texting a person who doesn’t reply in a reasonable amount of time.  I know that person may be claiming that he or she is ever busy but if that person really loved you he/she wouldn’t have failed to spare at least 2 minutes to text you and short message like I MISS YOU, I LOVE YOU… If you are in love with such a person just know he/she has not time for you but has time to text the other person that he or she loves and fears to piss and lose.  Stop chasing after someone who doesn’t want to be caught.  Stop caring for someone who doesn’t appreciate everything you do for him or her.  Stop having hope in someone who takes you as his or her second option. I mean that person who is ever interested in you when he or she is sad, bored or stressed.  Stop pleading and crying for someone who sees no value in your tears.  Seriously you deserve someone who gladly picks up when you call with much need of hearing his or her voice, someone who replies promptly to your texts and treats you with common decency, someone who appreciates everything you do for him or her, someone who fears to lose you just like the way you do, someone who takes you as his or her priority, someone who has your time and serious with you”

I wish I had read this article before I put myself in this shit of being hurt.  May be it would have helped me because by that time I was not doing the will of God. If I did, then God could not have allowed me be in such a fiasco.  If I was doing things according to the Will of God things would not have gone the way they went.  I would have been rescued from the wrath of being hurt this deep.  What am I saying?  When you leave basic requirements for you as a child of God in relation to friendship that leads to marriage, then you have or you MUST do what God wants you to do.  That is, let the person also be born again like you, do not engage in sex before marriage, let your family know this person, know his background and his believes and the list goes on and on I need not want to go in details because we have been taught these things but we just ignore and do things our way instead of God’s way.   I learnt my lesson through the hardest way from this hurt of mine that I am talking about but out of it I have learnt exactly what God wanted me to learn because my next relationship will be based on the basics that I have ignored for the last like sixteen years.
Let me help you out my dear friend.  I would want to really share about the story which is so touching , but this is very personal I can’t really tell the story here on my blog but I will be writing my book about many things that I have gone through so that you hear and feel me.  I have learnt that, God wants good for me and he can never wish me bad.  I may go out of His way and make the wrong choices but let me tell you, God does not leave you there when you cry unto him and tell him you are sorry he will always restore you.  Sometimes we get so deep into things that cause us even depression but God allows you to go through that so that you can understand two things, He is always there for you no matter what, and you will have to go through the pain so that you do not go back to sinning again!  Am I speaking to someone?  Remember even the person hurting you is also going through his battles because he is not safe either.  He makes wrong choices by choosing the wrong person in the process of hurting you or he chooses the right person but has to pay a price by learning his lessons too the hardest way! When he/she gets the wrong person that is the time he/she will realize imagine I made a mistake I would have gone for this person I let go and hurt this deep.  But it is usually very late because already you got married and you made the vow.  If you are born again and  you are the person who hurt you will turn to God and He will correct the anomaly in the best way he knows because he knew where he would catch you at and deal with you.  But if you do not know Christ, then you will go on hurting others and the circle will continue.  But the day the Lord will deal with you, you will come running to him in surrender or else you will take a rope and hang yourself and go straight to hell.    What, am I saying?  Most of the time we go carrying those who hurt us and forget that we should let it go and move on and learn our lessons in that awful manner.  If someone has left you for someone else, understand they were never meant for you and God has the one he has in mind for you because there is no way you can treat someone good and do all what good you are doing and that person cannot see.  That person must be demon possessed.  And you who allow to be hurt this deep also have a big problem too especially if you are a child of God. It means that the Lord is dealing with your weakness that he is preparing you for his kingdom and for you to get your right partner because the day he will give you that man who really loves you, you will never take that person for granted.  You will understand it is GOD who gave you this best friend and the love of your heart!

Be blessed and I will recommend a book that I am reading by T.D Jakes “let it go”.  This book will amaze you on how you can forgive and let it go and stop hurting.  You will get your healing instantly when you understand that you should forgive in order to be forgiven. 

I may not have written so much to make you get the point but I know I have spoken to your heart. I am dealing with the hurt and forgiveness at the moment and I know my sharing will help you too.  You do not need to sit down and wine on your weakness.  I always wonder, why did I have to be hurt this deep?  I need not to be hurt this much.  But I have understood where I went wrong and am correcting that anomaly by doing my basics and depending on God and not compromising to the people who hurts me.  God bless you and have a wonderful time!