Most of the time we appreciate or not appreciate what others tell us in relation to who we are, what we are doing, what we want to hear and so forth. Unfortunately as human beings, we always take an offense on the remarks especially if they do not favour us in one way or the other.
Usually when I want to write on something on my blog or my facebook wall, I have to really think about it as many times as possible to see whether I needed to say it or not. Sometimes I get a drive that tells me, you need to write this Rose and do not hesitate. Sometimes still, I write something and when I am just about to post it, something tells me no, do not post it, and I leave it by the way. Something I have written more than even 10 pages. It is unfortunate that, in my good faith of wanting to share with the world what is in my mind, many will not take it lightly or they will be offended so badly to a point of even hating me. But deep down my heart, I know there is someone I needed to talk to who is in the same shoe needed or needs to be encouraged, guided, feel not alone and so on. Those are the people I love speaking to as much as I get a lot of opposition for sharing deep and sensitive matters. Anyway, it has been a beautiful year 2014 and I am anticipating a better 2015 with a lot of expectations.
But before the year 2014 ends, I want to write this closure of the year note that will encourage you to move on and search yourself. I know most of the time I have offended many and many a times I have blessed and helped them though I get few or no response as to who I have helped but through the Holy Spirit I always feel I have helped many in all what I write as much as I base it on my personal life and experiences. I love the part of helping others than the offending, because I have a mission of ministering to people and blessing them more than making them feel down cast. All the same I love my audience though I am not sure of the numbers that I offend and humiliate, but I would really ask for forgiveness if you are one of the persons I do hurt in the process of expressing myself. For those I minister to, please do not stop encouraging me in whatever way.
I am a Sanguine by nature and the other day I also realized I am choleric. Really?????? After I did the test to ascertain my personality, I realized I just became Choleric in like two or three years now. Before I used to be a Sanguine-Melancholy, but now I am Sanguine-Choleric. So how come the first personality changed? I will fearfully tell you, it is because I found my purpose and that I am born a leader that I never knew I was for a long time. Little did I know that the Lord was making me and cooking me so that at his divine time he will unleash me. This is the time as in I am sure I am now fully cooked and need to go out there and do all what He has called me to do in this world. All personalities are good and sweet, but you should ask God why he created you with the personality you have or he is going to give you in the course of the journey, because there is a reason why God created you the way he created you as in you have a great purpose in this life with your personality at whatever level. You do not need to sit down and start envying others for who they are or what they are capable of doing or saying. You have all it takes to be who God has created you to be and you are very unique; yes! you have very high potential to surprise the world if you really want to be who God wants you to be. But if you limit yourself with what you do not have, then you will never have nor be.
Enough of explaining my personality which I always love as day dawns, but I want to say, some days’ ago, I met this lady who used to make my hair sometime back like four to three years ago. We had not met since that time and this particular day we bumped on each other in the streets of Nairobi. When we met, I saw a lot of changes in her that made me see how young she looked, lost some considerable weight, and looked so cute for real. When I saw her what came in my mind was, that, I need to look stunning and cute like her. As I neared her, I started smiling from a far so that she can connect with me. Unfortunately she looked at me those of, where did I see you, and am I mistaking you with someone else? Of course I could tell what was in her mind but when I continued nearing her, I also could not remember her name but I asked her excitedly, “Sasa my dear, habari ya masiku? Manzy unakaapoa!” (Hi my dear, how have you been? You look so stunning!) Then she looked at me confused and said, “Imagine najaribu kukumbuka tulikutana wapi lakini si get. Haki nikumbushe.”(Imagine, I am trying to remember where did we meet but I can’t remember, please remind me). Well, I did not take it offensively as I used to do in the past when someone behaved like that, as used to feel so sorry for myself because I thought they were pretending. Anyway, excitedly I told her, “Wacha! you mean haki umenisahau naulikuwa unanitengeneza nywele at Kenya Re?”(Surely you mean you forgot me and you used to make my hair when you were at Kenya Re?). Then she exclaimed “My friend, ni wewe? Haki uhana shushu, kwa nini sasa ulikata nywele yako, na kwanini uliweka Curl-kit? Hiyo hair style ni ya wamama.” (My friend, is it you? To be honest, you look like a grandmother, why did you cut your hair and put on a curl-kit? That hair style is meant for older women” Gosh I felt like falling down as for me I knew I looked stunning bearing in mind before I put that Curl-kit, I looked horrible but the curl-kit I had was meant to cover up what I was going through as much as I knew at the back of my mind I would love to look better than I looked. Little did I know that people judge me differently when they meet me. There are those who look at me and wonder and there are those who look at me and tell me I look nice. So who out of this should I believe? Anyway, we all know our weaknesses and failure and that is why most of the time you will never bother what goes around peoples’ mind in regards to who you are according to them. My point today was to talk about the remarks people make towards us using my two examples. Of course there are many examples to use, but I felt comfortable to use these ones because they really helped me understand, not all remarks are bad as much as they look bad. Some are meant to help us change and be different people as I chose to take this two positively as i mention the other one as we proceed. I am working on the lessons they have taught me. As it concerns this hair dresser, I would have chosen to get offended and not listen to what she was telling me as much as it looked awkward, but somehow this time round I chose the positive side of the remark because I have realized I really have to change for so many reasons a head of me. I know my personality does not really like being criticized, but that is a negative aspect about my personality that I am really working on to change and not brush all criticizes but also be very careful because the world is very evil they are so malicious and most of the time they criticize you so that they crash you.
The other remark that I got from my coach is, he noted a phrase that i am fond of using that has made him be very uncomfortable and he has purposed to help me change it for my good, and this is what he said, “Rose, I am sorry you love saying you have no money every time. Or rather you like saying, I have not done this or that because I do not have money. That is a phrase I want you quit saying from today henceforth. How is that?” I was in shock that I say that unconsciously just because i have always felt i explain myself to be heard. I have never noticed though in real sense i usually do not have money in the pocket as at that time, but once i get my money it goes to my many projects that i have and thus feel i lack money. But what shocked me is that I had a phrase that defined me and no wonder money has always run away from me. Such kind of a phrase attracts lack and I am so grateful that my coach told me to stop. To be honest, I have to confess that, that phrase has not fully come out of my mouth because, after that session, I told a friend I have not done something because I had no money. Then I remembered I told my coach that I will stop saying that I do not have money. I am struggling to stop saying that as I was also invited somewhere and I was asked to speak, I made the same comment that I do not have money… and immediately I did that, I remembered and said in my heart, ‘oh my God, I thought I said I will never say this.’ In life, we have struggles that we go through and most of the time we really have to work on them. This is one struggle I am praying that the Lord will remove from my life because it has defined me even in my talks. For me that correction from my coach is a big lesson and I am grateful he made me realize how wrong I am by confessing with my mouth things that weigh me and others down. Who wants to walk around with someone who always sings they do not have money anyway? No one! That is a very negative power of the tongue that everyone who is in my shoes should stop with immediate effect and trust God that He will change and deliver us from.
I know for sure soon this remark will be a song of the past. But prior to my abolishing this statement, may be you might be in my shoes and you wonder where do people get money from like me? I got a secret and I know soon God will help me overcome this shortcoming. But I came to realize, money is not everything. When you have the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, then you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. As in, as much as I always say I have no money, I do not sleep hungry, my children go to school. I dress well and do many things. I guess even people wonder how I always scream I do not have money and they see all what I have done. I guess the reason why I always sing I have no money is because I have an empty bank account or no substantial amount of cash in my purse. As in, if you called me now and told me Rose I need this amount of money, to be honest I will not lie to you I have little may be to take care of the day the rest i leave it to God. But somehow at the end of the day the things I do are so great even with that empty bank account as for me I know I have been living by the Grace of God. But next year 2015, I want to stop that phrase and say I have money so that the account can start filling up. What am I saying, it is good we be real, but sometimes God wants us to use our realness to go to our next level by looking at what is around us that can change us to be better people that God has created us to be and not look at what we do not have. Especially what has made us feel down and low is looking at other people and thinking, us, we can never be like them. That is a lie from the devil. We should always be connected with our God so that he can open our eyes and see what is in store for us.
The other day I was sharing with a friend of mine and I told her that, most of my friends are doing very well. They drive big cars, they have beautiful houses, and they live good life, but all these friends no one has ever held my hand and told me what they do in order to achieve all their wealth and good lives that I really admire about them. As some few years ago, God spoke to me in a very low voice and said, ‘Rose, you can be all what you want to be, but until you stop pitying yourself and work out on your strengths, then you will remain where you are and no one will help you. You need to wake up and use what I have given you to become who you really know you are’. First, I thought I am just speaking to myself just because I knew where I was. But as time went by I started asking God, what I can do in order to be a different person.
I embarked on reading the Word of God, fasting, praying and doing the things I knew will make me closer to God so that he reveals to me what he created me for. I will not forget, 4 years ago, he connected me with a friend who I shared with a problem relating to my son and she recommended me to join her church so that I attend a class that will help me know how to handle my son. The class was called “Lea”. I visited her church one Sunday, and instead of doing that class, I did another class that was provided known as “Mizizi”. This is a word from Swahili that means Roots. After doing that 10 week class in the Church I currently attend, my life changed. I realized, I played church all these years instead of having a personal relationship with my Father and thus got to know where my problems were. First, for you to go to your next level, you must have a personal relationship with Jesus. What I am saying is this, please stop playing religion and embrace the love of Jesus as your Personal Saviour because he will answer most of your questions through the Holy Spirit and you will understand why you go through what you go through, because it is not usually meant for harm, but for building and making you be what he has called you to be. Today as I write this, I have no money, I will repeat my phrase hoping this will be the last mention, but he Joy of the Lord in my heart, has made me appreciate who I am in him and what he is doing in my life. I have written a personal profile about myself now, but next year and others years to come I will not be the same Rose and i have faith i will be here to share my testimony. I believe down deep my heart I will no longer sing that song of I do not have money because now I will go look for that money like any other person. What I will tell you, no one will walk your way and put money in your pocket. You have to look for what is around you that will make you have that money that everyone has that you do not have. Make up your mind today and say I will stop singing I have no money and join my club and sing I have money and I will look for ways that will help me get that money in my pocket and enjoy life to the fullest just like any other person on planet earth who has money. Remembering money will never buy joy but it will enable you do many things that will bring joy in your heart. Remember also not all you do with money that will bring the Joy, but surrender it to God to guide and direct you to do what he has called you to do with it for His Glory so that your joy can be full in him. The choice is yours. But remember when you have money and it has no impact in the Kingdom of God that money will take you nowhere. But if it does something great in the Kingdom, it will increase and it will never end. Your children, children, children, children and the many coming generations, will eat the fruit of your work.
Hey I talk so much, so what lessons did I learn from my two friends that is my hair dresser and my coach? Most of the time we take offense very fast may be because of the situations that are surrounding us. But can we pose now and start listening more than getting quick to get offended and hear what the other person is saying. Of course there are those who have evil motives against us but we can ask God to give us a gift of discernment so that we will know what he is telling us through our friends or people in our lives whether in good or bad to enable us achieve our success.
I thank God for my hair dresser and my coach because I have taken their remarks very seriously and I am working on many changes in my life in order to be the kind of a person I have always loved to be instead of looking at my weaknesses and lack.
I will also add on a lesson learnt too from one of the Senior Pastors in my church Mavuno Church – Hill City http://www.mavunochurch.org/new/ Pastor Linda Ochola –Adolwa, ministered to me in the course of the month of December 2014 through the sermon series, that, God is with us in all our life journey and we should never give up on him. He has good plans for us, plans to prosper us and give us hope and a future. We should never give a chance to anyone or anything to define us the wrong way. We have all the potential to be what God has created and purposed us to be as long we are ready to surrender to him and put all our trust in him. Of course we will face many challenges, but with him, he will make us victorious as he will always make ways where there seems to be no way in Jesus Name. Amen!
Thank you all and have a wonderful Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2015!
God bless you!