Sometimes i wonder whether what i do is wrong or right. And it has come to me that whether i do anything right or wrong it does not matter i will always handle it as myself as whom God has created me to be. Sometimes we do things and we are wrong and sometimes we do things and we are right. The word of God is our guide to know what is good and wrong at the Lord expects us to interpret it and it is usually in Spirit and Truth.
Well, i have learnt to go back to the Lord when i have done something and i strongly feel this is wrong and also gone to the Lord when i have done something right but no one seems to understand me.
I thank the Holy Spirit because if one walks in the Spirit and in the Truth, the Lord will always speak to him/her straight away. I would like to share something that the Lord spoke to me when i was in such a situation. But before i speak about it i want to give an illustration first so that one can get me clearly.
There are these two beautiful girls who are very lovely. Both of them are not married and they are walking with the Lord as they continue seeking the Lord to give them right spouses as they serve and fellowship with other brethrens. But one of these girls does not know what is idolatry, fornication, gossip, lying, drinking, smoking and others sins name them. She comes from the family that the father is born again and the mother the same. She is a very clean girl as many would put it and say she is good and very faithful in the things of God because when you tell her about some sins she will wonder, does such a thing happen? And this is because she has never experienced such. Anyway the Lord helps her as she continues to walk with Him and she gets married to this handsome man of God who is so sweet and this girl loves him so much and she marvels in the Lord and she is married ever after. (Every woman loves to be in this category coz I know there are many out there). I thank God for such ladies because they make me understand that, there is still hope for the lost girls also out there and even those who are still waiting upon the Lord and time is really ticking.
Now, there is this other girl who is born in a family that the father is a drunkard, she has never seen fatherly love, she has fornicated, drank beer, gone with the wrong groups of people and fallen. But she knows the Lord but she is always up and down up and down in sins. But the Grace of God is so sufficient and the Lord keeps her all through. But though she has stumbled many times the Lord knows her so much that no one else can tell of her story but the Lord who has been walking with her and keeping her even in her failings.
I want to speak about this second girl. The Bible tells me that Jesus came to this world to save the lost and the poor. I really love the word of God because the word of God is life. If Jesus came for such as the first girl who is holy and sinless as one may say, then, no one in this world would see God. Because the Bible reminds me in 1st Peter 3:18 (For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit). It also reminds me in Romans 3:23 (For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God) He came for someone like me who is a sinner and that is why, it is the Grace that is keeping me. 2nd Corinthians 12:19 (And he said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. The same Bible tells me clearly that i must work out my salvation Philippians 2:12 (Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling) and work it out with fear and trembling. I know i have weaknesses that i have to work on so that i may see my God. But my question is, will anyone work for me so that I see God or see my weaknesses. No. I have to search myself and say true this is wrong and i really have to work out my salvation. As i talk am made perfect by Christ and not myself. When I sin the Bible tells me in 1st John 1:9 ( If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness) so the Lord has given me a promise that even when I fall short of his glory I have an opportunity to repent and continue with a fellowship with Him. It is my prayer that the Lord will deliver me fully from all my shortcomings because i have many but the Lord is dealing with them one by one as I continue to surrender to Him. So, this second girl makes me wonder, if God knows her heart, and knows how she loves Him this much and yet He lets her suffer like this, what is God upto? That is a query many would ask. But the Lord has spoken to me many times that everyone suffers what they suffer because the Lord wants to use them mightily. The second girl has gone through all what she has gone through not because the Lord hates her. No! God chose her to suffer all that for His sake and that He may use her for His Glory and through her experience that many will come to know Christ and will see the Love of God through her testimony.
Just to encourage you, in whatever you are going through, the Lord knows exactly that. In Psalms 139:1-6 says (O Lord, you have searched me and you know me, You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely. O Lord, you hem me in behind and before, you have laid your hand upon me, such knowledge is too wonderful for me too lofty for me to attain).