Tuesday, 21 October 2014


Well that is kinda a weird and hard question to ask children of God!  Mmmmm!!  Really?  Anyway, let me start apologizing for not writing since May 2014.  I embarked on something that has really taken a lot of my time.  All the same that does not mean that I have forgotten my readers.  I know you have always anticipated that I will write something sooner than later.  Here I am, though late than you expected.  My sincere apologies once more! 

What has triggered me writing this today?  I was listening to one of the channels and since I had to contact the person who was the guest speaker today at the Radio Station (https://www.facebook.com/FamilyRadio316), who is none else but Naserian Mapelu a blogger and a business lady who works online,  (http://www.naserianmapelu.com/), her story reminded me about my blog that i had not worked on for sometime now.  She talked about money making on the net and that caught my eyes because I have been looking for someone to mentor me on the same for a very long time.  So what did I do after listening to her speak on radio?  I hand to embark on my writing as it is a eye opener and a forum for other opportunities that i will learn as i blog.  To be honest when i checked it, i was shocked that i have been missing in action for like five months!  That is a long time to be away honestly.  I want to take this opportunity to apologize the a millionth time to all those who follow my blog and tell you that I am back now in full swing and it is my hope that I won’t miss in action again soon.  This encounter (listening to Naserian) made me sit down and write about what I am talking about on the above topic, in form of a query.

Ok.  Let me give you my version answer to my query though I know not all will agree with me.  But somehow you will learn something from my point of view. As I have always sung, I am born again and I love the Lord.  My journey has not been that smooth as much as I talk and write about my walk with Christ, but I am happy that one day I made this sweet decision to accept Christ as my Lord and Saviour.  He has been with me all along and as I focus on living a holy life I know very well it is not that easy but Jesus has always enabled me through his love and mercies.  He is a good God to me, because dying for a wretch like me, his love is just so amazing and that is why I will not give up on my Lord because, what he started in me, he will make sure that he has brought it to accomplishment.  So, I am not scared about my weak points because it is in those weak points that he has brought me closer to him and seen his unconditional love for me practically.  

Having said that, do I get lonely as I asked earlier?  First of all I will not shy away and say I am a single mum of two boys whom I am very proud of, and happy to be a mother to them.    I did not choose to be a single mum but I just found myself one, by the virtue of fate as I have always called it.  At the same time, a phenomenal that I always understand very well that Jesus is aware of because he bore all my pains as it relates to it and he knows how I always feel about this because it is a place I have never wished to be.  One would wonder, why am talking like being single is a crime.  I will say, it is not a crime at all and I should not make anyone single feel like they are missing out anything because we are all not the same.  We are all wired differently and we look at thing at a very different perspective which should always be respected.  But I will be open enough to let you know why I felt comfortable sharing what I felt online, knowing very well that is a very personal affair.

Well, on one of the last few days', I shared out something about my singleness and how I felt about it. 

 It went like thisA friend of mine a few days ago, shared with me and told me that she wishes she was single like me. As in all freedom is bestowed upon her. Well, as much as she tried to make me understand marriage is not that rosy as we may think, i think marriage is what one makes it to be. I beg to be corrected but i will tell all married women in there, please work out your marriages because out here it is not as easy as you may think. A time i cry alone and ask God why me? But he encourages me that i am not alone he is with me. As a single mum it is even trickier because we are rejected because we have children. I was shocked today when someone equaled us to vomit. It was a very bitter herb to swallow, but i was reminded i do not belong to that world. My God values me despite my weakness and He calls me his friend, child etc. My prayer is that He will give me a partner who i will never wish to let go and vice versa. That is the miracle i claim every day. I know many will judge me because of saying this, but now i have made my conclusion, it is better when one is married especially to a godly man than being alone. (Not to just any man). Not all men are called to be husbands and fathers. Majority of them need Jesus like never before in order to be promoted to those positions. To you single person, do not give up. It is never late. God will come at the right time. Focus on Him and He will direct your path. God bless you!). 

After I posted this, I did not expect anyone to comment or even like, but to my shock many people liked it and really encouraged me.  I was reminded that, I am not alone because majority that encouraged me were both married and single.  I concluded that they felt my pain, supported my wishes to be married and my singleness.  When I wrote that I was in my lowest moment which meant that, I felt very alone as much I know Christ and I love Him.  Most of the time as children of God, we try to put the face that we do not get lonely at some point in our lives.  And we make those who are in that place feel out of place and yet we should have avenues and forums that will address these moments to make them not feel alone and judged. In my case, that day, I wished Jesus was there for me in person so that he can hold my hand and give me his chest a lie on it and just feel him physically. I bet he knew very well that he could not be there in person as it was in the time when he was in this world physically, but promised me his helper Holy Spirit to encourage me and lift me up when I am lonely and at the same time create or make a man who would be his representation to give me the physical needs that I needed as a human being.  On my blog I said it is good for one to get a godly man and I hope I did not lock anyone out when I said that.  What I meant is that, someone who knows Christ and who aspires to be more like Jesus.  What I mean is that, this person will not be an exceptional, but through the guidance and the love of Christ he will be able to get a woman, love her just like Christ loved the Church and take care of her just like Jesus takes care of the Church.  I know very well marriage is not easy even for pastors or the clergy people, but I know there is a God who knows all these and He is ready to walk all those in marriages and give them a good marriage that can be admired by many.  As I know in the world of today, this is not very practical scenario but for those who believe and trust in Jesus I know they will support me as they know for theirs to be where it is, it has taken the hand of God and not their own power. 

On my side of world view, I would like to tell you as a child of God, sometimes it feels lonely and hard and especially when you are single with children this is because you know what is to be loved and to be left there out alone in the wilderness.  It is a hard journey because I know how it feels because that is where I am. There are times when I wonder who is this person who will appreciate me as I am with my children and still love me as I am.    I know it really makes us single mums feel like we are not worthy and even the world has painted that we are useless people who have no direction, something that I will object and say that you are as valuable as any other person on this universe.  When God created you, He knew your weakness and he was sure through your weakness he will bring forth his creation.   We are all equal in the eyes of God.  He is not a respecter of persons.   Do not regret about who you are as a single mother, single father single boy, single girl or even a married person.   You are all so valuable in the eyes of God whether married or single.  Happiness is not found in marriage or singleness but who you are with your Father in Heaven because joy comes from within you and not without you.  To be single and enjoy it you have to have the Joy inside yourself to survive all it takes to be single and in marriage there is no difference.  I know today, even if I enter in marriage I will not be full or happy because I got married but I will be happy that I have chosen to be married and start the journey which i am assured is not that easy, but with the help of my Lord, i will make it by being the one who makes it work as the Lord enables me.  That is why I have not given up on marriage and I am sure He will unite me with the person he has chosen for me.   If he does not, then he will give me and you the grace to be a single persons as he wishes.  Though I always wonder how they make it single for eternity because to me I feel I can’t imagine myself not having someone next to me for the rest of my life.  (That is me).  Anyway that is a debate that can take ages and fill in the whole internet and books for eternity.  All in all, I will conclude and say, marriage is a good thing and I believe it can work.  For the first time I am accepting that because now I am mature enough to make that conclusion.  But for the young ones as in younger than me they will find this statement crazy, and I will not judge you because I was in your shoes at some point and I felt like you feel right now as in how would you want to be married or the married asking themselves how would i wish to get married while they are crying to come out!  As time goes by, you will understand why the Lord said it is not good for a man to live alone.  He needs a helper or someone to share their life with.  Are you single out there?  Do not give up.  Join my prayer club so that we can pray together that the Lord opens a door for us we get spouses sooner than later and enjoy marriage because it is a good thing that God ordained.  For you married, work out your marriage and do not give up on it, because there are good things that are found in marriage.  For you who have chosen to be single forever, I pray for you that God will give you the Grace to the end and it shall be well for us all.  God bless you all. 
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