Most of the time I have found myself not reading the word of God not because I am busy, but I can’t explain it. I can find myself comfortably doing other things, like listening to music, twitting, facebooking, but when it comes to reading the word I just feel lazy and tired. Have you felt this way?
Well, I need your help. You might think am joking, but I am not joking. I guess this is an attack from the evil one because deep down my heart I really want to have a fellowship with my Lord daily, but I just find myself just not reading the Word. I have even tried to do it in the evening when going to sleep since I thought there are no interruptions that time, I may concentrate. My friend, I end up watching a movie or sleep with immediate effect. Why now? I guess I have given all my time to the things of this world and I need prayers seriously because I am really missing out my fellowship with Christ. It does not feel nice at all not to have a fellowship with him on daily basis. When I compare myself to when I have adhered to reading my Bible, Praying and Fasting and now that I am this dry, I feel down. No wonder the devil can minister to me in such a time with all these lies that I am good for nothing. I am good at praying even when doing my work, walking around, in the bathroom e.t.c. I may not do a long prayer but as short as it is, I feel I have spoken to my God. But that is not enough because I am not consistence in reading the Word.
If there is anyone out there who has a secret to this, I will embrace it. What makes me not be consistent in reading the Word? I know I am a sanguine and sanguine are too good in talking and the like and they are not consistent as far as I know, but I guess I need discipline in regard to reading the Word. I wish I had a mentor or a friend that can keep checks with me in relation to this. I once had a friend that I met on the net and what drew me to him was the power of reading the word and fasting. He kept me on toes and I tell you the truth I was reading the word on daily basis and I also managed to fast at least once in a week because we kept on encouraging each other. That plan just died like that and I wish I could get a friend that can stand with me and keep me in checks on daily basis. This will help me a great deal. I know my Lord is hearing my prayer because I have struggled for some time now. But, I am not giving up yet because even in church as my pastor encourages me that I need a reset to my life, sincerely I need a reset and I can’t wait on the directions he will give to enable me tap this blessing. Who knows why God put in his spirit to preach this (a reset of my life in Christ) such a time because someone like me needs help! Lord have mercy on me.
Now that I have shared part of my weakness, I know I will share more and more. But you may wonder so what? So, that I can overcome this weakness that is why I put it here for the world to know that it is a weakness that is eating me and so many others that is why we are not growing spiritually. In the recent past I have been invaded with a fear that is too terrible. I thought I was past fear but I am shocked at how my storms can bring about fear in my life just because they were too strong that I could not imagine I will be out of them. Thanks be to God I am out. But I am struggling with fear. Fear for even what am not supposed to fear. This means there is a void in my life that is not filled with God because fear is from the devil and not God!
Let me encourage you my dear friend. You might be in my shoes and you do not know what to do. Please join a church and have a fellowship with others so that you can get help. I have tried to depend on my own understanding but I have realized most of the time I cannot help myself! I need others in order to grow and to sustain my salvation. I know it is not an easy step but we are supposed to be accountable to each other on basis of truth and trust as we continue fellow-shipping with others. I will also say you do not just start fellowship with every Tom, Dick and Hurry, but chose your friends wisely because even in church we have people who are not to be trusted. Have a fellowship with them in many activities that are in church and in that way you can be able to choose wisely. So far I have not found one friend that I can open up and share deeply as I wish, but I know God will give me a friend to walk with me.
I like writing about myself here so that, those who have the same encounters as mine can be encouraged and I also help them overcome them through my sharing and testimonies. God bless you and have a fruitful time as you plan to reset your life in Christ. Amen!