Tuesday, 1 December 2015


Crying is normal to all human beings especially when they want to express their inner feelings that none can understand, but can only be seen through the cry whether loud or with tear drops.   As I have said, I have cried many times and today I cried like a baby. Why did I cry?  I did not really fathom the pain and bitterness that was piling up inside my heart until a colleague did something that triggered my cry.  Everyone in the office was so shocked that such a woman can sit down and cry her heart out without feeling any shame like a baby.   (What a shame, but do I care?) 

Most of the time we are told not to cry in front of people because it portrays a very bad picture and people will look down upon us.    I will totally disapprove and say, that is not me.  If I am pressed down and made breathless I will cry my heart out to release what is inside me.  That has really helped me so much because when I look at the things I go through, if I carried all that baggage, one day I would explode and I do not think it will be a good thing for me.  The best thing for me is to release all what is inside me, when it is triggered so that I am set free.   I am saying when it is triggered because, most of the time we do not understand the things that pile inside our hearts,  as when people look at us, think things are fine with us, whereas in the real sense we are hurting so much deep inside us.  But when something triggers the hurts to come out, my friend, that is when you realize what mountain you were carrying inside you, that you could not fathom it was, until the trigger triggers it and you explode. 

Of course the crying moments are not my best moments in terms of what people will think about me, but they are my release moments that set me free and show whom I really are, as that time, I am as good as naked and that is what many people will not want any person to know about them, that is, their weakest point.  That is when people understand that I have been going through so much pain but I have been keeping it to myself.  That is the time I pour out my heart and say exactly what is paining me and people understand the root cause of my cry and the pain coming out of my cry as I say it then.  Of course there are those that will be disappointed with my cry because, they are the cause of my cry and that is a sign of setting them up, and there are those that really feel me because they were going through the same pain but they had nothing to do but to keep it to themselves and never cry.  Happy are those around me, in my shoes, because a crybaby will make their pain be known and they will be met at their very point of their need, as they sail the same boat with me, and the issue will be handled amicably and the story afterwards will be, ‘If it was not for Rose’s cry, we would never have been helped’.  Sometimes it is good to cry out your heart and save the many people around you who are in pain and yet they cannot express themselves.    When I say people to cry, I am not meaning people to be crying here and there like crybabies.   No!  What I mean here is that when you have to, cry it out as it is a therapy that sets you and others free.   

It is important to note that, to be a world changer you have to be radical and a don’t care person (not in terms of wrongs/negative).  But in terms of bringing positive change that not many embrace because, those who do extraordinary things usually, they are extra ordinary and fearless in the way they think and do their things.  When they succeed, that is when everyone wants to be associated with them.  This is because when you listen to the many voices that surround you; you will never do what your inner person tells you because that is where your strength sits. 

Let me give a very good example.  When one of our own Kenyan son, Julius Yego (Javelin World Champion  - 2015), won his Gold and title, everyone especially us Kenyans we were so excited and celebrated him so much and took the Kenyan glory as he is part of our family.  But to tell you the truth, in the past years, months and days, we were the same people who were finding him very ridiculous and wondered how on earth someone can train through YouTube?  To us, that was madness of the highest order.  I can imagine those who were nearer him were telling him to stop being a fool.  Unfortunately, Yego did not listen to those negative words but relied on his innate strength that lead him to those who were seeing something that was positive in his ability; and those people are the ones who supported him all through to his success; and I am giving credit to his trainer on YouTube who saw the interest, talent and victory in this young man’s life.  I am proud of you, Julius Yego! Yes I do, because you make me not give up on what I want to pursue but you give me so much hope when there is no hope. I even over heard someone comment about him and said, for him to be listed to go and play, one said, “this crazy guy thinks he will make it, but let us just give him a chance and see if he will make it really”.  That was his starting point as he continued to prove to the world he was not a mad person but knew what was inside himself that needed to come out.  That gives me so much hope that nothing is impossible with God. When given a chance, you can all do exploits that you can’t think of or imagine. 

God’s time is always the best time and I know the tears you cry out just because someone has made you cry, or the hardships and struggles that you are going through have weighed you down,  those tears, will be wiped away by God, do not give up.  Julius Yego, I guess in his closet cried to his God and God heard his cries and today he is a World Record Champion in Javelin.  What am I talking about?  It will cost you a cry, for you to reach your destiny. Can you cry the more and do exactly what you ought to do.  You better cry a million times to succeed than to corrupt to succeed.  You might not cry when you are corrupt to succeed but the day you will be paying the price you will cry your heart out, unfortunately that time you will be crying out paying the price and that will not be the best thing.

Today I am at peace and all what was inside me eroded away when I cried out.  What I mean, the pain has not gone away, but now I can sit, eat and do many other things without thinking about it and I have left it to God so that he can fight it for me.  He has done that in the past and I have come out victorious and most of the time I forget that I went through some pain.  When they come back, I am reminded that the battle is not mine but the Lords and the more I meet the challenges ahead of me, God is making me a stronger person in me day by day and I am very sure tomorrow I will not be the same person.

Of course I will not cry about the same thing, but I will encourage someone else who will be going through what I have gone through and give her or him hope, that all is not lost and crying is not a crime but a way of expressing our pain and disappointment.  Have you cried in the recent past or crying as you are reading this.  Do not give up.  Help is on your way.  Be positive, think positive and take things lightly.  You may wish to cry your heart out, not necessarily like me in front of people but even in that closet of yours where no one is seeing you but God.  He will answer your cry and restore for you all what you have lost.  Just believe and trust in Him that he is able to fight the battles for you.  Be encouraged as I encourage myself. 

God bless you so much and keep you. 

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