I
am really excited by what the Lord can do in one’s life, and am not talking
about anyone else but myself. Those who
have been following my blog or have been reading my scripts can a test that I do
not talk about anybody here, but I talk about myself most of the time as I encourage
you and make you understand we all have struggles and issues. One might ask why I do like talking about
myself? I guess it is easier talking
about yourself because you know yourself very well than any other person and
most of the time we are enemies of our own self. I have chosen to be talking about myself as I
grow spiritually and perfect my doings in the things of God because I feel down
deep my heart that the Lord will use me mightily if I submit to him and seek
for his guidance, correction and all that appertains to him. But first he has
to deal with me and that is exactly what the Lord is doing or has been doing in
my recent past.
Sometimes
it is hard for people to realize that they are living in sin and surrender them
and repent so that they can have a fellowship with the Lord. I will not judge anyone here because I will
be judging myself. But I will say, most
of the time when I am doing well in the Lord I feel excited especially when I
know am not living in any sin. But let
me tell you, when I fall or flip, I will pretend for sometime and start
shunning church and the things of God and depend on my own. This trend has really slowed me so much in my
walk with the Lord. But I guess
sometimes it is healthy especially when you know your weakness so that, when
the Lord deals with you, then you will not fall or go back to your weakness
that drives you to sin. No wonder it is
said, Gods time is always the best. I
tell you, you will just keep that weakness that leads you to sin, but when God
strikes you to let go, it will not be sweet.
This has happened to me not once, twice or thrice. Usually it is not a very sweet experience when
you have a strong hold that the Lord has to remove from you. The correction comes with a bang until you
realize and recognize that it is only God who can deliver you. This is the time you confess repent and walk
in righteousness.
What
am I driving at when I say all this? I feel
obliged to write what am feeling in my heart such a time when I surrendered to
the Lord and he has been restoring me. I
am one excited person because 1 year ago I was enjoying my fellowship with the
Lord and it was such a nice experience. I
could even dream dreams and interpret them and it was awesome. But until I continued in my sins that I kept
hiding for sometime, that I found myself
not growing and had to go through major storms in my life and I have realized
that I needed God than never before and repent my sin and ask the Lord to help
me through this journey. I am really
excited because now I can have at least half of my time doing the things of God
my reading the word, encouraging others, placing myself to places that exalt
God and so on. This is a sign that the
Lord is restoring me because I feel His joy flowing my heart even as I worship him
in whatever situation which was not happening to me in the last past one year.
It
is my prayer that the steps that I have taken for my restoration will work out
for me because I want to go to the next level in my spiritual life. I do not want to be stagnant any more and I want
to be used of the Lord in small or big way.
I
will speak about a dream I had yesterday and the day after yesterday. These two dreams have spoken to me deeply and
this is my joy because when the Lord restores you, he starts speaking to you in
so many different ways. He can use your
dreams, situations, people and so on.
But I want to speak about my two dreams that were so profound. The day before yesterday i.e. 15th
May 2013, I had a dream and I dreamt about this little boy who had dreads and
looked like a beggar. This young boy was
crying and he had blood oozing from his mouth.
It’s like someone had beaten him that much until he bled and he was
looking for someone to identify with him and help him out of the pain he was
going through. I felt in my spirit this
boy was suffering rejection, a very big kind of rejection that I identified with
because I have been suffering the storm of rejection for a long time now. I really felt for him until I started
explaining to people what he is going through like I knew it all. I cant really remember the other things I was
seeing in the dream but I can remember him trying to express himself to his
mother who did not understand what his son was going through because she was
part of the rejection. Well, my dream
ended and I was left devastated. When I woke
up I asked God what you are telling me about this boy. Today, I was sharing that dream with a friend
and as I tried to ask her to interpret it for me. Immediately I got this revelation and told me
it is a story of a man that I know that has been going through this spirit of
rejection since his child hood (the person came immediately in my mind). It was so evident because, as his friend
since I got to know him, he has never treated me well. I have tried my level best to be good to him
but with no positive response apart from transferring the rejection spirit to me
by silencing himself and acting very weirdly.
I will not talk about this person so much, but I want to encourage many
people out there who feel rejected and they are going through a tough
time. I will tell you, I am not an exceptional
and I have been rejected since child hood and this spirit keeps haunting me so
much because it does not give me peace even with the people around me. As am searching my heart and seeking for help
from my church, I would want to tell you do not walk alone. Look for people that believe in the Lord and
can be able to walk with you. I have
taken that step and I have realized it is a deep rooted thing that needs to be dealt
with so that you can know exactly how it started and how it has affected you and
be delivered from it. This friend of
mine, I always feel like shunning him forever, but something funny in one way
or another we will talk as much as it is not that often and I always remember
him. My prayer today is to pray for him,
myself and others who go through this oppression of rejection. May the Lord help me as I take this journey
of identifying those suffering from the spirit of rejection and embracing them
towards their healing.
The
other dream was on 16th May 2013.
It was about me. I saw myself
excited because I was going to get married.
I could see my brothers, sisters really helping me out so that I get
married. But I was seeing so many obstacles. They were coming in terms of dirt and this
was vivid when I was going to the bathroom to shower. I remember I had chosen a very good birth
room to shower in because it had all the facilities i.e. a shower with warm
water, nice fittings and I was to enjoy my shower in preparation to wear my
wedding dress I get married. But
suddenly I do not know what happened and the bathroom became filthy that I could
not take a shower any more. I tried even
asking for assistance and it was fruitless.
I tried to engage my sister and brothers but they were no where. The place was so terrible and I could not
shower. Suddenly I woke up and wondered
what kind of a dream was that. I was really
enjoying the part that I was going to get married but it did not work out for
me because I could not shower I go on with my wedding plans because of the filth
that I do not know came from where. I got
a revelation when I was sharing with my friend in the office that the Lord
desires me to get married, but there is a lot of filth around me that I need to
take care of. Well, you do not know
exactly what am talking about, but to be honest there is a lot of filth that I have
to deal with so that I get my hearts desires.
So, I will have to look for this filth because it has caused me this
delay in my marriage and I know my God will see me through because I have
chosen not to do it alone but through his help.
This I know will help me when I search myself and know where I am, the filth
that is in my life and work on it. This I
know will not come overnight. I have to
seek my Lord so that he guides me and opens for me all these books with this filth
and help me on how to go about them.
I
will encourage you my dear reader that, do not look down upon yourself. Do not even judge yourself and say you are
good for nothing or you can never be helped.
Just take a step of faith and believe that the Lord will forgive you,
heal you and restore you. You will enjoy
his love and fellowship because that is what am enjoying right now after a long
battle with my storms. I thank God that
you have read and the Lord will guide you to the right places to seek for
help. God bless you as you take a big
step of Faith. Amen!
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