I am really excited by what the Lord can do in one’s life, and am not talking about anyone else but myself. Those who have been following my blog or have been reading my scripts can a test that I do not talk about anybody here, but I talk about myself most of the time as I encourage you and make you understand we all have struggles and issues. One might ask why I do like talking about myself? I guess it is easier talking about yourself because you know yourself very well than any other person and most of the time we are enemies of our own self. I have chosen to be talking about myself as I grow spiritually and perfect my doings in the things of God because I feel down deep my heart that the Lord will use me mightily if I submit to him and seek for his guidance, correction and all that appertains to him. But first he has to deal with me and that is exactly what the Lord is doing or has been doing in my recent past.
Sometimes it is hard for people to realize that they are living in sin and surrender them and repent so that they can have a fellowship with the Lord. I will not judge anyone here because I will be judging myself. But I will say, most of the time when I am doing well in the Lord I feel excited especially when I know am not living in any sin. But let me tell you, when I fall or flip, I will pretend for sometime and start shunning church and the things of God and depend on my own. This trend has really slowed me so much in my walk with the Lord. But I guess sometimes it is healthy especially when you know your weakness so that, when the Lord deals with you, then you will not fall or go back to your weakness that drives you to sin. No wonder it is said, Gods time is always the best. I tell you, you will just keep that weakness that leads you to sin, but when God strikes you to let go, it will not be sweet. This has happened to me not once, twice or thrice. Usually it is not a very sweet experience when you have a strong hold that the Lord has to remove from you. The correction comes with a bang until you realize and recognize that it is only God who can deliver you. This is the time you confess repent and walk in righteousness.
What am I driving at when I say all this? I feel obliged to write what am feeling in my heart such a time when I surrendered to the Lord and he has been restoring me. I am one excited person because 1 year ago I was enjoying my fellowship with the Lord and it was such a nice experience. I could even dream dreams and interpret them and it was awesome. But until I continued in my sins that I kept hiding for sometime, that I found myself not growing and had to go through major storms in my life and I have realized that I needed God than never before and repent my sin and ask the Lord to help me through this journey. I am really excited because now I can have at least half of my time doing the things of God my reading the word, encouraging others, placing myself to places that exalt God and so on. This is a sign that the Lord is restoring me because I feel His joy flowing my heart even as I worship him in whatever situation which was not happening to me in the last past one year.
It is my prayer that the steps that I have taken for my restoration will work out for me because I want to go to the next level in my spiritual life. I do not want to be stagnant any more and I want to be used of the Lord in small or big way.
I will speak about a dream I had yesterday and the day after yesterday. These two dreams have spoken to me deeply and this is my joy because when the Lord restores you, he starts speaking to you in so many different ways. He can use your dreams, situations, people and so on. But I want to speak about my two dreams that were so profound. The day before yesterday i.e. 15th May 2013, I had a dream and I dreamt about this little boy who had dreads and looked like a beggar. This young boy was crying and he had blood oozing from his mouth. It’s like someone had beaten him that much until he bled and he was looking for someone to identify with him and help him out of the pain he was going through. I felt in my spirit this boy was suffering rejection, a very big kind of rejection that I identified with because I have been suffering the storm of rejection for a long time now. I really felt for him until I started explaining to people what he is going through like I knew it all. I cant really remember the other things I was seeing in the dream but I can remember him trying to express himself to his mother who did not understand what his son was going through because she was part of the rejection. Well, my dream ended and I was left devastated. When I woke up I asked God what you are telling me about this boy. Today, I was sharing that dream with a friend and as I tried to ask her to interpret it for me. Immediately I got this revelation and told me it is a story of a man that I know that has been going through this spirit of rejection since his child hood (the person came immediately in my mind). It was so evident because, as his friend since I got to know him, he has never treated me well. I have tried my level best to be good to him but with no positive response apart from transferring the rejection spirit to me by silencing himself and acting very weirdly. I will not talk about this person so much, but I want to encourage many people out there who feel rejected and they are going through a tough time. I will tell you, I am not an exceptional and I have been rejected since child hood and this spirit keeps haunting me so much because it does not give me peace even with the people around me. As am searching my heart and seeking for help from my church, I would want to tell you do not walk alone. Look for people that believe in the Lord and can be able to walk with you. I have taken that step and I have realized it is a deep rooted thing that needs to be dealt with so that you can know exactly how it started and how it has affected you and be delivered from it. This friend of mine, I always feel like shunning him forever, but something funny in one way or another we will talk as much as it is not that often and I always remember him. My prayer today is to pray for him, myself and others who go through this oppression of rejection. May the Lord help me as I take this journey of identifying those suffering from the spirit of rejection and embracing them towards their healing.
The other dream was on 16th May 2013. It was about me. I saw myself excited because I was going to get married. I could see my brothers, sisters really helping me out so that I get married. But I was seeing so many obstacles. They were coming in terms of dirt and this was vivid when I was going to the bathroom to shower. I remember I had chosen a very good birth room to shower in because it had all the facilities i.e. a shower with warm water, nice fittings and I was to enjoy my shower in preparation to wear my wedding dress I get married. But suddenly I do not know what happened and the bathroom became filthy that I could not take a shower any more. I tried even asking for assistance and it was fruitless. I tried to engage my sister and brothers but they were no where. The place was so terrible and I could not shower. Suddenly I woke up and wondered what kind of a dream was that. I was really enjoying the part that I was going to get married but it did not work out for me because I could not shower I go on with my wedding plans because of the filth that I do not know came from where. I got a revelation when I was sharing with my friend in the office that the Lord desires me to get married, but there is a lot of filth around me that I need to take care of. Well, you do not know exactly what am talking about, but to be honest there is a lot of filth that I have to deal with so that I get my hearts desires. So, I will have to look for this filth because it has caused me this delay in my marriage and I know my God will see me through because I have chosen not to do it alone but through his help. This I know will help me when I search myself and know where I am, the filth that is in my life and work on it. This I know will not come overnight. I have to seek my Lord so that he guides me and opens for me all these books with this filth and help me on how to go about them.
I will encourage you my dear reader that, do not look down upon yourself. Do not even judge yourself and say you are good for nothing or you can never be helped. Just take a step of faith and believe that the Lord will forgive you, heal you and restore you. You will enjoy his love and fellowship because that is what am enjoying right now after a long battle with my storms. I thank God that you have read and the Lord will guide you to the right places to seek for help. God bless you as you take a big step of Faith. Amen!