Forgiveness

Sunday Morning encounter!

It was Sunday 17th May 2011.  I woke up in the morning and as usual I told my house help to prepare my children we go to church.  I was very excited to go to church because I love my Sunday Services and I can’t miss going to church whatsoever since I joined a church that I was invited by a friend for a visit and I have made it my home now and I do not regret. 

Well, my children got ready and we were set to go to church.  I love attending the second service because I will wake up at my own pace and not on a hurry and I will have all my time to get my children prepared and myself too. Usually the service starts at 12.00 p.m. and I always make it for church at around 11.00 a.m. I do not mind reaching that early coz I will get a good parking space near the gate so that I will come out faster because usually there is a of traffic problem on Sunday’s.  So, we were ready this particular Sunday and off we left for church whereby I took my children with me.    As I was driving I remembered I should say a short prayer in my heart while driving and I got a lot of peace and stamina to proceed to church.  I prayed that God gives us journey mercies as we drive to Church. 

Well, I took Mombasa road and usually I love using that road because it is smooth and it is a highway so I will not waste a lot of time on the road. Unfortunately, there is also a disadvantage about this road.  To go to my church you have to make a turn on the right that makes it very tough to change the lanes since I have to be on the first late from the fourth lane to make my left turn to my way to church.  I have used that route many times but this particular Sunday I had an encounter that made me cry like a baby.  There was a lady who was behind me and she had a big car.  As for me I was taking care of how am driving so that I take my lanes correctly and lead to my church.  But surprisingly this lady indicated to me that she wanted to overtake me on my right and I was very happy to take my other lane but surprisingly this lady was really upset about the way I was driving and I wondered why did she get mad about me because she overtook me creating a scenario that am not a smart driver.  I should style up when am driving.    

I took an offence on the way she reacted and I did not like it and she really hooted at me like a learner on the road and I got furious.  This lady came and overtook me and came right ahead of me and she was still indicating she wants to overtake.  Then I wondered, this woman thinks she is very clever than others look at the way she is even indicating wrongly yet she is taking the same route am taking.  I thought the best thing to do is to make her understand she also makes mistakes like others and she should respect everyone on the road.  So I made efforts of passing her and make her understand she is not fair.  She really shouted at me and acted like am really stupid and this still made me mad.  Anyway I thought aloud “Lord, I thought I prayed what happened here Oh!  My heavenly father?  Does it mean I did not pray well?”  Anyway I reached church and got right in, but something funny I realized the lady was following me to church.  I could not believe my eyes I said to myself you mean this lady was also coming to church like me?  Then I just can’t leave her I have to make her understand my point and we have to really make up if we are both children of God.  I stopped my car and I waited for her to come in.  She reached to where I was since I had even alighted from the car and I asked her “my dear what was wrong?  I was ahead of you and you are just screaming aloud on me and I could not understand what wrong I did to you?”  She shouted at me and told me “you are very slow driver.  You even stop on the highway what exactly do you think you were doing?  I indicated to you that I want to overtake you and you still dillydallied on the road” and she was on top of her voice.  To be honest I was not quiet too since I tried to interrupt her and make her understand I was changing lanes and I had to slow down to be able to get to my right lane.   I felt very humiliated and I stopped talking so that she can air her feelings and outburst.   To be honest this lady was tough and she overwhelmed me with her quarrel I thought I am tough when airing my views but I found an expert than me and she won.  What I remember doing was apologizing to her and telling her am very sorry and she could not take my apology.  I was really humiliated and I felt so bad.  She left me and she drove off ahead of me.  I went back to the car very hurt and regretting of the occurrence.   My children in the car were also hurt and very humiliated to a state where my 14 year old son started crying.  I was shocked and felt very bad. 

When I parked the car, I saw they also parked just a few meters ahead of me and I went saying surely how can I park even near her?  But I just proceeded I parked my car and I went on to the service.  Already my heart was broken and I was feeling like going back to the house and avoid the whole service.  But something else told me no.  Rose just go to church.  But because of the way I was hurt I could not take it.  I felt very silly, stupid, and sinful and this entire negative attitude came in my mind and I was terribly hurt. 

But I could not go to the service before talking it out.  I released my first born son to go to his Teen Service and I was left walking to mine.  But before I went in I saw a lady ahead of me and she had just packed her car I stopped her and talked to her and gave her the whole story.  She told me that the other lady was wrong but I should not make that a big deal since I was going to the service I should seek to forgive her because she is also sure that the other lady may be as hurt as I am or even has forgotten about the whole thing. I could not really take it but I cried like a baby.  After the crying I got my restoration and I went on to church but still very down.  That Sunday I could not even praise my God I just sat down held my baby and felt so down.  The lady sat in front of me and I could see she was as hurt as I was because she could not even praise too.  I regretted what happened and I wished we did not have such an encounter.  But still I asked God “but I thought I prayed Lord what is all these oh Lord.”  I tried even listening to my pastor preach and as much as I enjoy my Sunday services this time round I was not enjoying as much and I can’t even remember the sermon well as I usually do. 

The service ended and I could not forget this lady and I did not even want our eyes to meet.  But I kept on telling God to bring another way of meeting with her so that she can remember me and apologize because I felt she was on the wrong and she did not understand.  I also asked God to help me forgive her and clear this thing because I felt I could not take it.  Well, as we went out it was drizzling a bit and I did not have an umbrella so I ran so that am not rained on with my baby.  When I got in the car, I could not forget about the incident and I continued to pray in my heart that the Lord touches this lady and makes us friends but I could not see that coming since she was really mad with me and she was also a stranger.  But the Lord spoke to me that time that I needed to deal with a spirit of Pride!  I said pride.  Yes!  The spirit of God confirmed because what came in my mind is that, that lady was right in the way she was thinking and I was also right it is only that she could not listen to me and I could not listen to her.  The Lord was ministering to us through the incident that we have to deal with the spirit of pride.  

After a few minutes, I saw the lady coming ahead of me and she said.  “My dear, I have come to make peace with you and I realized that I was wrong and I was also dealing with an issue that I came with from my house.  Usually I do not attend the second service but the first service and I realized I was also getting late for the second service and you were wasting my time on the road.  I could not worship and praise today because of what has happened please forgive me my dear.  My name is Esther!”  After she told me that I started crying and I told her Esther, am also very sorry because I could also not pray nor praise because of what happened.  But just before you came the Lord was telling me that I need to deal with a spirit of pride and bitterness so that he can make use of me.  Am sorry this had to happen but am happy that he has made us friends too.  My name is Rose and I love the Lord and am happy that he has made us good friends from today.  I even came out of my car and introduced my children to her and she told me that she has grown up children and the one she was with was her brother whom I thought was her husband.  I told her by the way I usually see you in church and I know where you love sitting in church and immediately we started our fellowship and we forgave each other we hugged and I purposed to make her my friend from that day.  After we left my children also were very happy of what happened and even the reconciliation process.  My son was very excited that I could own up my mistake and seek for forgiveness even in their presence and that made my son proud of me and told me “Mum, surely you love God.  That was very good and am happy you have reconciled with that lady” That remark from my son also made me proud to be a role model to my son and also the mother I am the them.

What a way of reconciling? I realized even as saved as I am.  I will face so many things that will make me fall and make me look like am not a Christian.  Most of the time our personalities can make us sin since we feel we should not be offended or offend others but that is a weapon from the devil to make us sin and fall.  I thank God that I was not comfortable with the incident and I went on praying in my heart that I could seek forgiveness from my dear sister whom we finally forgave each other and became friends.  I did not have to go home the way I was and carry her in my heart and not seek peace with her.

This lesson made me understand; I will sin but how I will react will determine if I walk in spirit or just without the spirit of God.  Because if I am filled with the Holy Spirit, I should seek for forgiveness and not harden my heart but deal with my issues and with this lesson I learnt that am a very proud woman who needed to deal with Pride.  Lord help me to know my weaknesses so that I work on them and live a holy life.  It is not easy but it will mean I really have to surrender to Him and He will help me because He knows me just the way I am.  The Bible tells me in Galatians 2:20 (I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”)