I don't know if the statement above lied to me. Well, I am yet to know. But this is what I had to go through to know what it means to love or to be loved. Most of us when we were growing up, no one told or taught us how to love or what it feels to be loved.
As for me, I learned about love; the hard way. Of course, I knew the love of a parent to a child (Storge) and that one of God and his people. (Agape). But there is the love between two people that leads to marriage or intimacy. (Eros) This is the love that has cost many of us since we did not know what it entails to love or to be loved. So, what is the real meaning of love? "Love is an intense, deep affection for another person. Love also means to feel this intense affection for someone. Love can also refer to a strong like for something or to like something a lot. Love has other senses both as a verb and a noun."
With that background, you can deduce what is love from the real meaning according to the dictionary. Me when I was growing up, I knew love; is loving something or someone with all your heart, mind and soul. So, I knew for sure the person who would love me for who I am would take me just the way I am. But that fact dwindled with time because my understanding failed to meet my expectations. Therefore, I had to learn about intimacy and love the hard way.
I don't know whether to call it love or infatuation, I need to be corrected, but let me talk about my very first love. I was in class Six. There was this tall, dark, handsome and very bright boy in my class who I had intense feelings for and I was around 12 years old. I can't explain the feeling, but it was deep. I couldn't express it to him because I wanted him to feel it too and tell me first, so that I also tell him what I felt. Since I was a shy girl and that message did not linger in his mind; days passed and we left primary school never to meet again but I remember the feeling to-date. I may have never told him but I thought he would have felt it too. Unfortunately, I was terribly wrong that I was not in love. That first love faded that way without an explanation of how to find it again. And that founded my search from the many relationships that came my way. Did I quench my thirst? It has been a struggle; a story for another day but, I am wondering, how come I felt the same deep intense feeling to all these men that followed? I thought it was a feeling meant to be felt once and for all. So, all this time I lied to myself?
Now let me explain. Love to be honest is a deep, affection for another person. Period! That tells me then, I was very right; only that I loved the wrong people. Therefore, I should stop judging myself so harshly and focus and move on. This is because I have always carried myself with a lot of guilt because of the many failed relationships. So what point am I driving to? I want to talk to someone in my shoes who has loved more than one person in relation to intimacy. Sometimes people in my shoes judge themselves harshly not understanding it was nothing about us but the people we loved who never felt the same way. Our assumption made us think we were on the same page but let us down and so much down to a point of not believing in love again.
Don't give up on love. Love is a beautiful thing if it is correctly found. Remember I am talking about intimacy love. This love I am talking about is known as Eros love. We have others like Philia, Storge, Agape, Ludus, Pragma, and Philistia. Love between two people falls in the Eros love which can be deeply connected to lust. Before you get your right partner, you may fall in love many times but that is called LUST. LOVE IS A CHOICE When you choose to love on someone genuinely you have no excuse but LOVE them anyway. Choosing to love them means you DIDN'T ASK WHY? If you were to ask questions you would find many flaws and it would be hard to love someone because, "man is to error." Thanks for reading to the end. That's LOVE. Philia LOVE.
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