Wednesday, 26 June 2024

LOVE DOESN'T ASK 'WHY'

 

I don't know if the statement above lied to me. Well, I am yet to know. But this is what I had to go through to know what it means to love or to be loved. Most of us when we were growing up, no one told or taught us how to love or what it feels to be loved.

 

As for me, I learned about love; the hard way. Of course, I knew the love of a parent to a child (Storge) and that one of God and his people. (Agape).  But there is the love between two people that leads to marriage or intimacy. (Eros) This is the love that has cost many of us since we did not know what it entails to love or to be loved. So, what is the real meaning of love? "Love is an intense, deep affection for another person. Love also means to feel this intense affection for someone. Love can also refer to a strong like for something or to like something a lot. Love has other senses both as a verb and a noun." 

 

With that background, you can deduce what is love from the real meaning according to the dictionary. Me when I was growing up, I knew love; is loving something or someone with all your heart, mind and soul. So, I knew for sure the person who would love me for who I am would take me just the way I am. But that fact dwindled with time because my understanding failed to meet my expectations. Therefore, I had to learn about intimacy and love the hard way. 

 

I don't know whether to call it love or infatuation, I need to be corrected, but let me talk about my very first love. I was in class Six. There was this tall, dark, handsome and very bright boy in my class who I had intense feelings for and I was around 12 years old. I can't explain the feeling, but it was deep. I couldn't express it to him because I wanted him to feel it too and tell me first, so that I also tell him what I felt. Since I was a shy girl and that message did not linger in his mind; days passed and we left primary school never to meet again but I remember the feeling to-date. I may have never told him but I thought he would have felt it too.  Unfortunately, I was terribly wrong that I was not in love. That first love faded that way without an explanation of how to find it again. And that founded my search from the many relationships that came my way. Did I quench my thirst? It has been a struggle; a story for another day but, I am wondering, how come I felt the same deep intense feeling to all these men that followed? I thought it was a feeling meant to be felt once and for all. So, all this time I lied to myself?  

 

Now let me explain. Love to be honest is a deep, affection for another person. Period! That tells me then, I was very right; only that I loved the wrong people. Therefore, I should stop judging myself so harshly and focus and move on. This is because I have always carried myself with a lot of guilt because of the many failed relationships. So what point am I driving to? I want to talk to someone in my shoes who has loved more than one person in relation to intimacy. Sometimes people in my shoes judge themselves harshly not understanding it was nothing about us but the people we loved who never felt the same way. Our assumption made us think we were on the same page but let us down and so much down to a point of not believing in love again.

 

Don't give up on love. Love is a beautiful thing if it is correctly found. Remember I am talking about intimacy love. This love I am talking about is known as Eros love. We have others like Philia, Storge, Agape, Ludus, Pragma, and Philistia. Love between two people falls in the Eros love which can be deeply connected to lust. Before you get your right partner, you may fall in love many times but that is called LUST. LOVE IS A CHOICE When you choose to love on someone genuinely you have no excuse but LOVE them anyway. Choosing to love them means you DIDN'T ASK WHY? If you were to ask questions you would find many flaws and it would be hard to love someone because, "man is to error."  Thanks for reading to the end. That's LOVE. Philia LOVE.

❤️

 

Thursday, 13 June 2024

CARRYING EACH OTHERS BURDENS

Our reading comes from Galatians 6:2

'Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. '

Galatians 6:2

https://www.bible.com/bible/111/GAL.6.2

 

 

Many a times when we ready such scripture, we get tired even before we finish reading it.  This is because no one wants to sacrifice and let go what they have as it is meant to be theirs and theirs alone.  In this world where we are facing crisis of inflation, no one wants to share because life has become very expensive and things are not bearable in relation to money; where you find majority are struggling to make ends meet and weighed down by debts and other financial crisis. 

 

Even in that state of affairs we are called to carry each others burden.  Not only are we supposed to carry each other burdens by giving money, but in other ways of doing good and being kind and merciful to others.  In the book of Luke 10:27 we read this:

 

'He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind ; and, Love your neighbor as yourself. '

 

Luke 10:27

https://www.bible.com/bible/111/LUK.10.27

 

How many people are able to love their neigbours as they love themselves.  Just look around and see how people are so selfish and mean.  That is not what God is calling us to do.  He wants we stand with each other and help one another in whatever way we can help.

 

Naturally i do not struggle being selfless.  This is because it is out of it that the Lord has really blessed me. Being selfless is not easy it takes a heart of humility, kindness and mercy.  It is purely a calling from God that everyone should ask for. When i say that, I do not mean i am hundred percent.  Sometimes i struggle carrying others burdens because majority of people around me need money which i also struggle with sometimes.  But that is not the only way i can help.  I can give a word of comfort by giving hope or council on what i see can help them out even leading them to help through sharing contacts of help.       

 

One day i was walking to town to meet a friend who had asked to training me so that i can start making money online; as i was really struggling financially.  I remember the money i had between me and poverty was the training money. I was supposed to meet the guy around 10.00 a.m. I took my lap top and i hit the road towards our meeting point.  As a good student, i was there thirty minutes earlier.  I tried to call him but he was not picking the calls. I decided to give him more time but he kept on not picking my calls.  I would have gotten very mad because he never responded to my calls until one hour later after our appointment time that i decided to give up. In that scenario i had to change plans quickly so that i don't look silly and wasted.  The Lord reminded me of a friend of mine, who had shared with me that he needed some money to pay for a certain debt that weighed him down.  Since the money i had was to pay for the training i decided to give this friend of mine the money and train later.  Believe me or not till today, i do not know what happened to the lad who was to train me; as he has never called me to explain what happened.  As for me i did not bother to look for him because he failed me terribly though i chose to forgive him but decided not to do business with him as i didn’t want to be treated the same way again and thus i closed that chapter for a future training. He is not the only one who has failed me in such arrangements but that is a story of another day.   

 

One may think i am not normal when i diverted the money to help my friend because i had the option of saving it for a future training.  But i felt instead of saving the money, i should stand with this friend of mine by sharing the burden with him. His burden had kept on disturbing me; and this particular day when i missed my training class i told God i would want to help this brother.  I called to ask him if he could meet me in town not mentioning to him what i really wanted. He took like an hour to meet me, but before we met, i sat somewhere public in town to wait for him and i saw this young woman sat on some benches outside Hilton Hotel in Nairobi where i also took to rest as i waited.  This lady looked tired and very hungry.  Her lips were dry and looked very dehydrated.  I went and sat next to her and i said greeted her fearing she may not even answer me from her look of face.  She did not look fierce, but looked disturbed and confused.  Her answer was very reluctant may be because of what she was going through. But i really understood her from the face value; because at one point i was in her shoes.  I took Two hundred shillings note that i had and folded it in my hand and gave it to her.  I did it in wisdom as i gave it while greeting her so that she doesn’t refuse to pick it.  She looked at me in awe and i am sure she was shocked who was i and why i gave her the little alms i had. The feeling was so nice; i felt like crying that i touched someone’s heart.  I may not have known what she was going through but i am sure i put a smile on her face and made her know there is a God in heaven just because a stranger offered to give her something small.  Maybe she called me an Angel - i don’t know.  What i remember after the act, I went praying for her; asking God to bless her and open doors for her so that she can come out of her situation.  

 

Not long my friend appeared and we relocated to another venue at a hotel that he had never been before and i bought him some lunch.  We did a catch up since we had not seen each other for quite sometime and the meeting was awesome. I was able to hand over the money and i could see how happy he was as he was not expecting i would really be there for him in relation to the debt that really weighed him down.  Days later, the Lord rewarded me with an offer that earned me more than twenty thousand shillings.  That  amazed me as God gave me four times what i had given.  God rewards those who obey his commands and he is always very faithful.

 

In life we are called to carry each others burdens because that is the law of Jesus.   I will give you five points that you will practice in relation to carrying other peoples’ burdens.  One: be patient with quirks.  People with peculiar behaviours will not be the kind of people to help or stand with.  But we are called to help anyway. Its very hard to be patient with people who seem not to be understood.  Ignore that and offer a hand of help where it is needed.  Two:  Help anyone hurting around you.  People need positive energy around them especially those hurting so that they can receive healing and hope.  This can be done through your comforting words of encouraging, inspiring and even comforting.  Whatever way you can assist please do.  Three:  Do good to those who hurt you.  I know this is the hardest but try your level best. Currently i am struggling understanding a colleague who is not easy to please and hurts me on a daily basis.  I do not know how to show her goodness while she is hurting me this deep, but i have chosen to ignore all what she does to me as a way of keeping myself at peace; though it is one of my hardest situations to cope with currently.  Four: Be kind to those who offend you.  This is also not easy as those that offend you most of the time are the people you relate with on a daily basis at home, church, work and even at the market place.  The other day, i was offended by someone very special to me.  He really wanted to extend his disappointment by keeping quiet towards me by giving me a lot of negative energy.  I chose to be good to him; and do you know what? He was able to tell me what was hurting him and realized it was nothing to do with me.  But because of his personality being depressed was his way of hurting and wanted my comfort.  If i did not read his mind right, i would have really taken offense.  It was not easy to understand him in the first place as I really wondered what wrong did i do to him.   This is a character of many melancholics and therefore it is good to understand people that offend us and understand where they are coming from.  Five:  Build bridge of love to the overlooked.  Be a defender of those who can not defend themselves.  Make sure those that are around you are well treated and are happy in their endeavours. Be a peace maker and someone who brings positivity around people so that we can all enjoy life together by serving each other.   

 

I hope with those few tips will help you carry other peoples’ burdens because well all need support and care.

 

Have a wonderful time.  God bless you.