YOU THINK IN CHURCH IS WHERE YOU WILL FIND GOOD AND BETTER FRIENDS? AM SORRY!

Have you imagined walking in a church and you think, ahhh now I have arrived where angels are found!  You will be shocked when you reach there. 

I am one person who naturally trusts and makes friends easily with no problems.  But I had this notion when you get friends in church you will never go wrong.  They are the perfect people ever to meet on earth.  I got my shocker because since I was taken to church by my parents to be honest I can’t even count my friends, as in friends that I trust and can walk with me without issues. 

I am saying this because I am one person who has been frustrated by people not only in the world but also in the church too.  When I recently joined my current Church, I got new friends that I am walking with and to be honest it is not what I thought about friends from church.  I guess some of them are worse than the people of the world.  Am not talking like that because I am an angel from Heaven but just putting a point across that it is not all friends you meet in church are your good trusted friends. 

I have been hearing songs from Chimbalonza about how a friend went behind her back and spoilt her friendship by doing bad things behind her back.  Rose Mhando too has sung a song and many other singers I can’t mention them all here.  All of them are talking about how they had good friends and they betrayed them. 

Let me tell you.  The only person on this planet that you can have as a best friend is only Jesus.  He will never let you down and He can never be compared to any friend on this planet earth. 

I have been laughing with friends but little did I know that they never wished me well.  I gave myself to them and went out of my way to do things for them in the name of friendship and today I can’t see any around me.  I am not talking like these so that my friends can come back nor am I talking like these because I am a loner and life is difficult without them.  I am just talking to people who wonder with the kind of friends they have both in church and out of church, and how cruel they are.  Out of my experience it is very hard to have a good trusted friend in today’s era.   For those who oppose this I am sorry I am struggling in that area but I am happy for you if you have good trusted friends.  Keep them, take care of them because they are a gift from GOD.  It is not that easy for some people like me. I am yet to get good trusted friends for keeps!

When I say I all these, I do not mean I do not have friends.  No!!! I am just saying, have people around you as friends but be very careful on how you relate with them.  There are those in confidence you will tell them what you are doing in good faith and the same people will use the same information to tear you apart.  Sometimes it does not matter whether you told them the right things or wrong.  I bet with you no one is perfect.  We are bound to be wrong in one way or another, but that does not guarantee, now that am born again I wont wound you as a friend nor will you not wound me as a friend.   I always believe when one is my friend and a sincere friend, they should not judge me based to what I say.  I expect they do a research and compare their notes with what I said before judging me.  If I was wrong, let them correct me in a godly way, a way that I will not feel offended or carry guilt with me for the rest of my life.  If I said something that was really profound and it changed their lives, they should tell me and encourage me more to help others with the good thing I shared with them.

It is also good to judge people because some people are so malicious and they can be bad news if you are not careful.   When I talk about judgment I do not mean having a negative attitude towards people but you can judge someone in relation to our safety because we are in very bad times (i.e judge positively).  When you laugh and merry with some people, you may think you are reading from the same page but you will be shocked on what they think about you and what they plot against you.  Remember God said we should never judge anyone and I am not advocating judging others here.  I am just saying just read other peoples’ mind before they put you in shit by knowing their intentions even before they put you in problems.  By this I mean have a desire to discern things before hand and this can only be obtained when you have a strong relationship with the Lord. (JESUS).

You should ask God to give you the gift of discernment so that you can tell between the good and the bad.  People do not need to tell you anything bad or cross them so that you tell whether they are bad.  You can tell from so many things even when they are blinding you.

I had a friend for a long time, and we shared so much in common.  One day I decided to drop her home something we had not planned and that led me visiting her for the first time.   We were friends but not that close friends in relation to visiting one another but we could see each other from church and call one another. On that particular day, we talked so much and everything looked so rosy.  When the day broke, she escorted me to the gate so that I proceed home.  Little did I know I hurt her in any way from all what we conversed.    Immediately we parted ways, I felt my heart so heavy and I asked God what is all this heaviness about?    I asked myself did I grieve God.  What wrong did I talk?  Did I tell her something that was so deep and she was terribly hurt?  I asked myself so many things and am telling you it was not easy to tell exactly what I was feeling.  I felt like calling her and tell her to tell me if I said anything to her that really hurt her.  But, I said I will just keep it to myself and leave it at that.  When I reached home I made my call to her and tell her that I have arrived.  To my shock her phone was off.  I was mad.  I asked myself, if she knew I was to call her and tell her I arrived home safely, how come her phone is off.  I felt so bad.  I asked God what is all about this.  He told me the heaviness you felt it was true you really hurt her in the many things you shared with her but that should not worry you.  I made you meet and talk so that you can know she is not a good friend to you.  I was like really?  The answer was yes she is not a good friend to you just watch out!  After that confirmation, the heaviness left and I was fine.  Unfortunately I could not keep that to myself and I called another friend that God gave me in the recent past.  I told her the whole story.  She told me, Rose you told me not to trust everybody and I also sense she is not a good friend because a good friend who is there for you, will not make you struggle in knowing what you have done wrong to them.  They should openly tell you and not keep it to themselves. If I have hurt someone, I always wish they tell me we confront one another and mend that amicably but not create enemy.     Friendship is something to treasure and keep.  It is not something to play around with, whether it is from a male friend or a female.  Strong friendships are built by saying the truth even if one will be hurt.  Actually the Bible tells me that “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy”.   That clearly tells me that, those people who please me always, are not good friends.  But friends are those who hurt me deep but they teach me my lessons and I also teach them their lessons in relation to deep and stronger relationships that will make me a better person than I am.

 My dear friends, I have been a people pleaser for a long time and until I made Christ my Lord and my best friend, that today, I do not care about the earthly friendships.  They are full of pretence and maliciousness and thus I put all my hope and trust in my Lord alone.  The rest I tell God to work out my friendship because I know for sure the earthly friendships will not last long.  But for the short time or long time that He will allow me to be a friend to anyone, I will take that opportunity to grasp what God wanted in that relationship.  I have come to realize, God can bring someone close to you for just a day, days, a month, months, a year, and years but for a purpose.  But let me tell you, you have to note why God is bringing so and so in your life in whatever period of time. 

I had a friend who was so close when I was expecting my second baby.  To be honest I could not imagine our friendship would end one day.  Today we do not talk and we have never quarreled.  I asked myself, what happened.  It was dawn to me that, the friendship time was over and I should never think about the person but move on.  It does not matter whether it is a male friend or a female friend.  In my case it was a lady friend that I really treasured.

It is good to weigh how far you go with your friends and how much time and emotion part of you, you give to them.  When you get attached to a friend so much ask God to help you in that friendship because some friendships really break because we do not ask of the Lord and we do not have a gift of discerning so that we know exactly how long that friendship will last.  To clarify that is, in case that, that friendship ends, we do not take it personally but know that the time for the relationship had to end not because you did anything to that person, but the purpose intended in it was fulfilled and God will bring another friendship for another purpose.  In that regard, we will not have bad feelings about others and take them badly or have grudges.  I am praying that God will help me understand that because I have been struggling in that area for long now.  I want to let go every friend I feel just left me for no apparent reason.  I should understand that the time of friendship just lapsed and I should respect them for who they are and pray for them always for walking out of my life.  

We have so many people who are hurting and can’t even say hallo to one another and yet they were best friends.  That is happening so much even in the house of God and that is not a good picture especially from brethren.  

You would think all people think well of you but I will tell you, it is not all who think well of you.  Actually the least expected people will shock you how they do not like you and do not care about you.  The world is so evil you should be able to understand it and know how to respond to it as a child of God.

Chose your friends wisely and more to it put them in Gods hands that they be good friends who lift and encourage you.  

Have a lovely day!