In
the recent past, I have been analyzing my personality and I have always
wondered why God created me like this.
To be precise, let me hit the nail on the head and say I am a
sanguine. Oh! Yes I am.
I am not regretting to be created one because of late am loving my
personality that I used to hate in the past for some reasons that are common to
many sanguine. We hate criticism and we
love to be heard and our problems solved there and then.
Let
me go slightly deeper so that you understand me and where I am coming from with
my personality. If you are like me, then
I am speaking to you personally and I want to just share with you my sentiments
in relation to our personality.
Usually
I am more naturally active, expressive, social and interested in many
things. When I say I am naturally active,
I mean usually I hate being idle and you will always find me doing something, I
like expressing myself so much in a very detailed manner and I want you to feel
me fully. I am social and I have no problem talking to a stranger. Actually you will find me sharing very deep
things to a stranger and I am not ashamed nor do I even ask whether that person
finds me crazy or not. As long as the
person is ready to listen to me, ohh yes!!!! You
will read me like a book because I will tell all what is in my heart in a deep
way without fear to be judged or taken negatively because what I want is to release
it and I will pour it out to you. Usually I am
interested in many things and when I try whatever it is, that is when I will
make my conclusion about whatever in a positive or negative way (what i mean is that after I have an experience first
then make my judgement). I guess you understand
me by now in relation to where I direct my energy.
Usually I am practical and
literal. I am usually real and I do not
deal with anything that is on assumptions.
I am very literal because I am usually honest and truthful. When you lie to me or try to manipulate me I feel
very frustrated and that does not arguer very well with me because I can be a
drama queen to some extent. I know I have
a common sense because of my sensitivity I try to use my common sense so
much. I do not need to be explained if I
pinch you what you will feel. I already
know and that is why I try to avoid hurting you and prefer you hurt me
instead. Now getting me? Let us go on.
There is a reason why I am trying to express myself because most of the
time people do not understand me. And
usually they think I do not know myself. I thank God for education and reading
wide makes you understand who exactly you are and how you can relate with others
even in your good or worse personality.
The fact here is that you can’t change who you are, but you can change
how to handle issues and people by understanding who exactly you are. I have been struggling in the past to try and
understand why people behave the way they do towards me when I relate with them
and today it is not an issue because that is how everyone will take me because
that is what they see about me. But when
they stay with me they appreciate who exactly I am just because they
accommodated me as I am. And if you are
not ready to accommodate me, then you will just live with your judgment as you perceive
and I can’t change that.
Most of the time I am very sensitive
in the sense that I am always suspecting anyone who comes my way especially
when you try to be good to me. You have to prove to me that you are genuine
and my sensitivity enables me to judge exactly who you are and by my reaction I
will know who I am dealing with and that enables me to trend carefully knowing that I do not want to be hurt or hurt the
other one. Though the latter is always
my best option so that I do not go feeling guilty and the stuff. I want you to
carry your load and I will always allow you to offend me and not me offending
you. I am really empathetic. I always feel people and I always wish I had
all the monies in this world I take care of all the needy and the sick. I like helping and feeling others and that is
my hobby because it helps me reach out to everyone who I think needs help. This also helps me fight for the others
rights and also mine in a very strong way, I know I love facts and when you
explain to me with facts exactly what you are going through I know I can go out
of my way and help where possible and I do
not judge at all. I will judge when I see
things that do not conform to what you are preaching or trying to portray. I love peace and I hate crossing anyone’s
boundaries and when I cross and hurt anyone I am ready to ask for forgiveness
and I am always praying that you will accept my forgiveness and we continue
from where we left without grudges. So
far, anyone feeling me? Let me go on. I tend to be very flexible and I can just
change a course even in the middle of a project and that will never hurt me as
long as I will achieve my goal. For
example, I will trust you in the first place, but when I realize you are not
trust worthy I will deny you all the rights and I will not care what you have
profited me with and I can sacrifice and loose everything and start all over again
as long as you will not keep your promise.
I do not know if I have been understood there. I mean I am one person who can just change
drastically and you wonder if I am the same humble character because I can
become wild in a click of a second and you will be shocked on how I have
changed just depending on the level of humiliation or hurt. I am very curious and I do not believe in
cheap or free things. I want to know
facts why would you want to do abcd to me and I have not worked for it. I want to know what is your motive before
anything and thus I have to scrutinize you without your knowledge and I will get
you. I am usually not conforming and thus it is not
easy to understand me unless you stay close with me. The people who can really get this point are
my children because they know exactly who I am.
Most of the time I am mysterious and strange but my children understand
me so well and that is why they tell me I am their best mother ever and they
can never trade me with any other mother. Ohhhhhh! (I love that remark because besides my Father
in heaven who loves me just the way I am, there are two angels I live with that
love me that much and they are my two sons Collins and Calvin) That (nonconforming)
enables me to be complicated and not easy to understand as much as I talk
my heart out. Because I can tell you
this and the next minute I will tell you something totally different. That is
me. No wonder I did a personality test
somewhere and I was told, out of one thousand people I has my personality and
that now makes me understand I do not need to worry when I am in a group of
less than 1000 people because on a very rare occasion no one will react like me
or be like me. That makes me love myself
very much and I know God created me for a reason to have such a
personality. I understand in USA people
with my personality are 4 to 9%. Do not
worry where I got all these, but internet will give you so many answers to some
things you would never have known and that is why it is good to be
technologically up to date because you will learn so much from the net. I guess now you have a hint of what kind of a
person I am. I might not really say per
say who I am here but at least I have put a cross my rough imagine of who
exactly I am.
The
statement that “TO YOU VOCAL WOMAN OUT
THERE, DO NOT SHUT UP UNTIL YOU ARE HEARD!” I was speaking to myself
because I have realized most of the time when I interact with people, I am
shunned, rejected, pinned down, and the list is endless. When I express myself
it even becomes crazy because people tend to think I am crazy. Usually I am not crazy I am just who God
created me to be in expressing myself.
That is why I will always fight for those who are looked down upon
because I am their voice. Today I am
glad that I am called a child of God because I can easily tell you the love of
Christ and you will agree or disagree but I will have told you what the Lord
has told me whether you like it or not.
Most of the time when I keep quite and I am humiliated, when I talk or
be the real me you will be shocked what I will say and by this time I am pinned
to a corner and I feel I can’t wait but express myself until I am heard. What am I talking about? My friend it does not matter who you
are. You might not have my personality
but can you respect who you are and love yourself. If you need to scream aloud
can you scream aloud they hear you? That
is what they what to hear, you scream so that they can listen. No one should shut you down and when your
energy goes down, then calm down and even when you see no one is ready to hear you, just for your sake keep quiet and listen
to yourself and hearken to what you hear yourself telling you. No one should shut you up if you have to be
loud to be heard.
I
am saying this because I had to talk it out in a situation that I was really
put down upon in my place of work and today I am eating the fruit of talking it
out using the wisdom of God. Even if I scream
God has taught me how to scream in a very soft way that now they have to sit
and listen to me. Remember, I have said
WISDOM because sometimes you will forget and be yourself and that will not be a
good thing. But when you use WISDOM even
in that ugly scenario of looking crazy while expressing yourself, they will
listen to you. I do not need to scream aloud
and cause drama, but use the wisdom of God even in my screaming and that has
worked for me.
I
do not know if I have encouraged anyone, but I felt like putting down this for
myself and those who feel me will keep me going and it is good to LOVE WHO GOD
HAS CREATED YOU TO BE. HE HAD A PURPOSE
TO CREATE YOU THAT WAY. PURPOSE TO LIVE
FOR HIM AND FIND YOUR PURPOSE TO SERVE HIM WITH YOUR PERSONALITY!
Let me leave you with this. You can express yourself just the way you are through Christ who created and knows you because he is usually your strength. If you fight with your strength it will be really hard. But if you put Jesus number one, he will make you do anything that you want and everyone will listen to you even those who are not ready to listen to you. And even if everyone refuses to listen to you, JESUS is there listening to you. Just speak to him day in day out and he will be your answer!
God
bless you and have a wonderful time.
