WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN SOMEONE CRITICS YOU OR COMMENTS SOMETHING AND YOU ARE LEFT WONDERING…….. DID SHE OR HE HAVE TO ASK ME THAT QUERY OR TELL ME THAT?

Most of the time we appreciate or not appreciate what others tell us in relation to who we are, what we are doing, what we want to hear and so forth.  Unfortunately as human beings, we always take an offense on the remarks especially if they do not favour us in one way or the other. 

Usually when I want to write on something on my blog or my facebook wall, I have to really think about it as many times as possible to see whether I needed to say it or not.  Sometimes I get a drive that tells me, you need to write this Rose and do not hesitate. Sometimes still, I write something and when I am just about to post it, something tells me no, do not post it, and I leave it by the way.  Something I have written more than even 10 pages.  It is unfortunate that, in my good faith of wanting to share with the world what is in my mind, many will not take it lightly or they will be offended so badly to a point of even hating me.  But deep down my heart, I know there is someone I needed to talk to who is in the same shoe  needed or needs to be encouraged, guided, feel not alone and so on. Those are the people I love speaking to as much as I get a lot of opposition for sharing deep and sensitive matters.  Anyway, it has been a beautiful year 2014 and I am anticipating a better 2015 with a lot of expectations.

But before the year 2014 ends, I want to write this closure of the year note that will encourage you to move on and search yourself.  I know most of the time I have offended many and many a times I have blessed and helped them though I get few or no response as to who I have helped but through the Holy Spirit I always feel I have helped many in all what I write as much as I base it on my personal life and experiences.    I love the part of helping others than the offending, because I have a mission of ministering to people and blessing them more than making them feel down cast.  All the same I love my audience though I am not sure of the numbers that I offend and humiliate, but I would really ask for forgiveness if you are one of the persons I do hurt in the process of expressing myself.  For those I minister to, please do not stop encouraging me in whatever way. 

I am a Sanguine by nature and the other day I also realized I am choleric.  Really??????  After I did the test to ascertain my personality, I realized I just became Choleric in like two or three years now.  Before I used to be a Sanguine-Melancholy, but now I am Sanguine-Choleric.  So how come the first personality changed?  I will fearfully tell you, it is because I found my purpose and that I am born a leader that I never knew I was for a long time.  Little did I know that the Lord was making me and cooking me so that at his divine time he will unleash me.  This is the time as in I am sure I am now fully cooked and need to go out there and do all what He has called me to do in this world.  All personalities are good and sweet, but you should ask God why he created you with the personality you have or he is going to give you in the course of the journey, because there is a reason why God created you the way he created you as in you have a great purpose in this life with your personality at whatever level.  You do not need to sit down and start envying others for who they are or what they are capable of doing or saying.  You have all it takes to be who God has created you to be and you are very unique; yes! you have very high potential to surprise the world if you really want to be who God wants you to be.  But if you limit yourself with what you do not have, then you will never have nor be. 

Enough of explaining my personality which I always love as day dawns, but I want to say, some days’ ago, I met this lady who used to make my hair sometime back like four to three years ago.  We had not met since that time and this particular day we bumped on each other in the streets of Nairobi.  When we met, I saw a lot of changes in her that made me see how young she looked, lost some considerable weight, and looked so cute for real.  When I saw her what came in my mind was, that, I need to look stunning and cute like her.  As I neared her, I started smiling from a far so that she can connect with me.  Unfortunately she looked at me those of, where did I see you, and am I mistaking you with someone else?  Of course I could tell what was in her mind but when I continued nearing her, I also could not remember her name but I asked her excitedly, “Sasa my dear, habari ya masiku? Manzy unakaapoa!”  (Hi my dear, how have you been? You look so stunning!)  Then she looked at me confused and said, “Imagine najaribu kukumbuka tulikutana wapi lakini si get. Haki nikumbushe.”(Imagine, I am trying to remember where did we meet but I can’t remember, please remind me).  Well, I did not take it offensively as I used to do in the past when someone behaved like that, as used to feel so sorry for myself because I thought they were pretending. Anyway, excitedly I told her, “Wacha! you mean haki umenisahau naulikuwa unanitengeneza nywele at Kenya Re?”(Surely you mean you forgot me and you used to make my hair when you were at Kenya Re?).  Then she exclaimed “My friend, ni wewe?  Haki uhana shushu, kwa nini sasa ulikata nywele yako, na kwanini uliweka Curl-kit?  Hiyo hair style ni ya wamama.”   (My friend, is it you? To be honest, you look like a grandmother, why did you cut your hair and put on a curl-kit?  That hair style is meant for older women” Gosh I felt like falling down as for me I knew I looked stunning bearing in mind before I put that Curl-kit, I looked horrible but the curl-kit I had was meant to cover up what I was going through as much as I knew at the back of my mind I would love to look better than I looked.  Little did I know that people judge me differently when they meet me.  There are those who look at me and wonder and there are those who look at me and tell me I look nice.  So who out of this should I believe?  Anyway, we all know our weaknesses and failure and that is why most of the time you will never bother what goes around peoples’ mind in regards to who you are according to them.  My point today was to talk about the remarks people make towards us using my two examples.  Of course there are many examples to use, but I felt comfortable to use these ones because they really helped me understand, not all remarks are bad as much as they look bad.  Some are meant to help us change and be different people as I chose to take this two positively  as i mention the other one as we proceed.  I am working on the lessons they have taught me. As it concerns this hair dresser, I would have chosen to get offended and not listen to what she was telling me as much as it looked awkward, but somehow this time round I chose the positive side of the remark because I have realized I really have to change for so many reasons a head of me.  I know my personality does not really like being criticized, but that is a negative aspect about my personality that I am really working on to change and not brush all criticizes but also be very careful because the world is very evil they are so malicious and most of the time they criticize you so that they crash you.

The other remark that I got from my coach is, he noted a phrase that i am fond of using that has made him be very uncomfortable and he has purposed to help me change it for my good, and this is what he said, “Rose, I am sorry you love saying you have no money every time.  Or rather you like saying, I have not done this or that because I do not have money.  That is a phrase I want you quit saying from today henceforth.  How is that?”  I was in shock that I say that unconsciously  just because i have always felt i explain myself to be heard.  I have never noticed though in real sense i usually do not have money in the pocket as at that time, but once i get my money it goes to my many projects that i have and thus feel i lack money.  But what shocked me is that I had a phrase that defined me and no wonder money has always run away from me.  Such kind of a phrase attracts lack and I am so grateful that my coach told me to stop.  To be honest, I have to confess that, that phrase has not fully come out of my mouth because, after that session, I told a friend I have not done something because I had no money.  Then I remembered I told my coach that I will stop saying that I do not have money.  I am struggling to stop saying that as I was also invited somewhere and I was asked to speak, I made the same comment that I do not have money… and immediately I did that, I remembered and said in my heart, ‘oh my God, I thought I said I will never say this.’  In life, we have struggles that we go through and most of the time we really have to work on them.  This is one struggle I am praying that the Lord will remove from my life because it has defined me even in my talks.  For me that correction from my coach is a big lesson and I am grateful he made me realize how wrong I am by confessing with my mouth things that weigh me and others down. Who wants to walk around with someone who always sings they do not have money anyway? No one! That is a very negative power of the tongue that everyone who is in my shoes should stop with immediate effect and trust God that He will change and deliver us from.   

I know for sure soon this remark will be a song of the past.  But prior to my abolishing this statement, may be you might be in my shoes and you wonder where do people get money from like me?  I got a secret and I know soon God will help me overcome this shortcoming.  But I came to realize, money is not everything.  When you have the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, then you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.  As in, as much as I always say I have no money, I do not sleep hungry, my children go to school.  I dress well and do many things.  I guess even people wonder how I always scream I do not have money and they see all what I have done.   I guess the reason why I always sing I have no money is because I have an empty bank account or no substantial amount of cash in my purse.  As in, if you called me now and told me Rose I need this amount of money, to be honest I will not lie to you I have little may be to take care of the day the rest i leave it to God.  But somehow at the end of the day the things I do are so great even with that empty bank account as for me I know I have been living by the Grace of God.   But next year 2015, I want to stop that phrase and say I have money so that the account can start filling up.  What am I saying, it is good we be real, but sometimes God wants us to use our realness to go to our next level by looking at what is around us that can change us to be better people that God has created us to be and not look at what we do not have.  Especially what has made us feel down and low is looking at other people and thinking, us, we can never be like them.  That is a lie from the devil. We should always be connected with our God so that he can open our eyes and see what is in store for us.

The other day I was sharing with a friend of mine and I told her that, most of my friends are doing very well.  They drive big cars, they have beautiful houses, and they live good life, but all these friends no one has ever held my hand and told me what they do in order to achieve all their wealth and good lives that I really admire about them.  As some few years ago, God spoke to me in a very low voice and said, ‘Rose, you can be all what you want to be, but until you stop pitying yourself and work out on your strengths, then you will remain where you are and no one will help you.  You need to wake up and use what I have given you to become who you really know you are’.  First, I thought I am just speaking to myself just because I knew where I was.  But as time went by I started asking God, what I can do in order to be a different person.

I embarked on reading the Word of God, fasting, praying and doing the things I knew will make me closer to God so that he reveals to me what he created me for.  I will not forget, 4 years ago, he connected me with a friend who I shared with a problem relating to my son and she recommended me to join her church so that I attend a class that will help me know how to handle my son.  The class was called “Lea”.  I visited her church one Sunday, and instead of doing that class, I did another class that was provided known as “Mizizi”.  This is a word from Swahili that means Roots. After doing that 10 week class in the Church I currently attend, my life changed.  I realized, I played church all these years instead of having a personal relationship with my Father and thus got to know where my problems were.  First, for you to go to your next level, you must have a personal relationship with Jesus.  What I am saying is this, please stop playing religion and embrace the love of Jesus as your Personal Saviour because he will answer most of your questions through the Holy Spirit and you will understand why you go through what you go through, because it is not usually meant for harm, but for building and making you be what he has called you to be.   Today as I write this, I have no money, I will repeat my phrase hoping this will be the last mention, but he Joy of the Lord in my heart, has made me appreciate who I am in him and what he is doing in my life.  I have written a personal profile about myself now, but next year and others years to come I will not be the same Rose and i have faith i will be here to share my testimony.  I believe down deep my heart I will no longer sing that song of I do not have money because now I will go look for that money like any other person.  What I will tell you, no one will walk your way and put money in your pocket.  You have to look for what is around you that will make you have that money that everyone has that you do not have.  Make up your mind today and say I will stop singing I have no money and join my club and sing I have money and I will look for ways that will help me get  that money in my pocket and enjoy life to the fullest just like any other person on planet earth who has money.  Remembering money will never buy joy but it will enable you do many things that will bring joy in your heart.  Remember also not all you do with money that will bring the Joy, but surrender it to God to guide and direct you to do what he has called you to do with it for His Glory  so that your joy can be full in him.    The choice is yours.  But remember when you have money and it has no impact in the Kingdom of God that money will take you nowhere.  But if it does something great in the Kingdom, it will increase and it will never end.  Your children, children, children, children and the many coming generations, will eat the fruit of your work.

Hey I talk so much, so what lessons did I learn from my two friends that is my hair dresser and my coach?  Most of the time we take offense very fast may be because of the situations that are surrounding us.  But can we pose now and start listening more than getting quick to get offended and hear what the other person is saying.  Of course there are those who have evil motives against us but we can ask God to give us a gift of discernment so that we will know what he is telling us through our friends or people in our lives whether in good or bad to enable us achieve our success.

I thank God for my hair dresser and my coach because I have taken their remarks very seriously and I am working on many changes in my life in order to be the kind of a person I have always loved to be instead of looking at my weaknesses and lack. 

I will also add on a lesson learnt too from  one of the Senior Pastors in my church Mavuno Church – Hill City http://www.mavunochurch.org/new/  Pastor Linda Ochola –Adolwa, ministered to me in the course of the month of December 2014 through the sermon series, that, God is with us in all our life journey and we should never give up on him. He has good plans for us, plans to prosper us and give us hope and a future.    We should never give a chance to anyone or anything to define us the wrong way.  We have all the potential to be what God has created and purposed us to be as long we are ready to surrender to him and put all our trust in him. Of course we will face many challenges, but with him, he will make us victorious as he will always make ways where there seems to be no way in Jesus Name. Amen!

Thank you all and have a wonderful Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2015!

God bless you!

ARE YOU FEELING DOWN AND FRUSTRATED? DO NOT GIVE UP!

Actually, most of the time when I write here, I love encouraging other people and myself  Last week, I had a desire to see one of my classmates in primary school.  I remembered when we were in school this young boy never used to know how to read like us.  Every time the teacher asked us read a script a paragraph each, this boy was not able to read well.  He would stammer, read what is not there and make many mistakes and all what we did was to laugh at him.  I cannot really tell why I thought about him, but I kept asking myself where did he go after school? 

I remember he was among those who did perform well in my class as he had a weakness.  He was not one of the bright students and always he was number last.  However, I remembered he loved running so much and I thought may be he became one of our renowned runners in Kenya, but I have not met him in the recent past nor have I seen him on our Television as a runner.      This question kept lingering my mind, wishing I could see him and know where he went after we finished school.  His name is John.  I will use John’s story to encourage you and myself that despite our weaknesses, God has our strengths in mind and that is what he will use to crown us.   

The whole of this month I have been feeling down just because of what I am going through financially.    Many people may not understand you and your problems but they will always make sure they pin you down such a time.  I have been feeing down and all those around me seem not to understand me because as they notice, I am not myself.  They want to know what I am going through and since they cannot get it from me, they want to hurt me so that I talk.  Naturally, I am not a quiet person I am really a chatterbox and if you do not know me well you can be bored.  For those who know me, and understand who I am, and what is my calling in relation with my personality, they always listen to me keenly as in they know I have a very important point to make as much as I am very emotional in my talks.   In the past, I used to hate my personality, until I asked of the Lord why he created me like this.  I am just too talkative and he answered me, gave me many reasons as to why he created me this way and he is still answering me.     There are many places that I talk and bring a lot of hope, peace, tranquility, order and others.  Therefore, nowadays I am not bothered by my talking personality  as I always know there is a message I am trying to pass while I talk.   When I say I am too talkative, I do not want to say it is a bad trait because I know many people have this trait. What I want to put a cross is that, many people who talk much are never taken seriously and they are judged jokers.  I will also say, it is not always that I talk.  There are a times when i do not talk and people wonder what is wrong with me.  That time I am usually calm and I feel I do not need to talk.  Wait until I start talking and you will wish I were silent.  Lol! Anyway, let me tell you people who talk are usually serious as much as they look like they are saying nothing but babbling words. If you listen carefully, you will get what exactly they want to say though it is said with so many words that sometime bore. 

Anyway, so much said about my trait but the point I wanted to drive home is to encourage you who is down.  My friend John was not very good in school and we really laughed about him. Unfortunately, we forgot that life was not in our hands.  God loved him as he loved us even with his weaknesses.  As I wondered what happened to John, I had forgotten he got a job with the Administrative Police as we met one time but somehow, I forgot about that.  My wanting to know where he is I guess was driven by what I wished him which is well as I knew he had a weakness but as much as he had a weakness God has good plans for him.  By this, I want to encourage everyone today that, do not feel down or do not let anyone pin you down.  God knows everything about you even your weaknesses, lack, failures, and all that that puts you down.  Many a times I am down, I ask God, really.  ‘Do you want me to go through these entire processes of lack and feeling down?    I thought you care about me.  Why should I be lacking this or that and thus you love me?’  This is what I always ask myself every time I am down.  But I have come to realize, God does not want me to suffer, He wants me to have a deeper relationship with him.  Most of the time when I am in that state that is when I seek God more because I ask him many questions and he always answers me.  I am not trying to say we should go through problems so that we are closer to God, but I will say with my personal experience, many people are drawn closer to God by what is disappointing them because they need an answer and most of the time the person who has the answer is no one else but God.  It is during that time that you will realize small things like a small plant shaking itself will minister to you that God is so great.  That tip that you get when you do something so good to someone and they feel like saying thank you in a form of a tip and little did they know you did not even have something to eat and that tip will work miracles for your family and yourself.  You will understand why a stranger will stop on the way and give you a lift just because they felt like it forgetting that the Lord touched them to bless you with the lift to reach where you wanted to go because you did not have fare.   You will remember that colleague who you always look down upon who will hear about your cry how broke you are and they bless you with those little coins just to sort yourself that time and meet a need with the coins, and many other experiences.

What am I saying?  I want to encourage you that do no think that God does not know what you are going through.  He is part and parcel of all that.  Only what he wants you to do is to put all your trust in him and he will answer your cry in so many ways that you cannot imagine.  You do not need to sit down and start cursing yourself and the day you were born, be encouraged and think positive and the Lord will open your eyes. 

As I told you earlier I have wanted to see John, today, when I left the hotel where I was taking my lunch, I was rushing back to the office because I had few minutes to go back to the office for the afternoon session.  And just before I got out of the hotel, I met a group of young Administrative Police Officers dressed in their ceremonial uniform that attracted my eyes.  While I was busy staring at them and admiring them, amazingly I bumped on John!  Unbelievable!   I screamed at him and everyone who was near was shocked about the scream.  I scream aloud because a week ago I was thinking about him and wondered where he was.  Actually, this scenario made me understand God knows our hearts desires.  It does not matter how funny or odd they look, he understands them and he will always fulfill our hearts desires.  Seeing John, someone I was with in school more than ten years ago, is a prayer answered.  As in, we should never give up on God.  He will always answer us.    It does not matter how long He will take come for you, he will always answer you.  Do not give up on him.  I asked John how he was and by the looks, he was very happy with what he does as he is in the Administration Police Band, doing very well in it.  You see.  The boy who could not read well in class God has lifted him and today he is somewhere doing something that he loves doing?  I am taking this opportunity today, to encourage you by saying do not give up on God.  Even in your worst place give thanks to God. Today, I am not that comfortable but I thank God that he has enabled me thrive in my lack and to be contented with the little that I have and I know he will give me more when his time comes and lack will be a song of the past. 

Have a wonderful time and be encouraged today.  Let no one intimidate you with whatever they have or are.  Be yourself and ask God to guide and help you out in all your circumstances whether good or bad.

DO CHRISTIANS FEEL LONELY SOMETIMES AS MUCH AS THEY HAVE JESUS AS THEIR FRIEND?

Well that is kinda a weird and hard question to ask children of God!  Mmmmm!!  Really?  Anyway, let me start apologizing for not writing since May 2014.  I embarked on something that has really taken a lot of my time.  All the same that does not mean that I have forgotten my readers.  I know you have always anticipated that I will write something sooner than later.  Here I am, though late than you expected.  My sincere apologies once more! 

What has triggered me writing this today?  I was listening to one of the channels and since I had to contact the person who was the guest speaker today at the Radio Station (https://www.facebook.com/FamilyRadio316), who is none else but Naserian Mapelu a blogger and a business lady who works online,  (http://www.naserianmapelu.com/), her story reminded me about my blog that i had not worked on for sometime now.  She talked about money making on the net and that caught my eyes because I have been looking for someone to mentor me on the same for a very long time.  So what did I do after listening to her speak on radio?  I hand to embark on my writing as it is a eye opener and a forum for other opportunities that i will learn as i blog.  To be honest when i checked it, i was shocked that i have been missing in action for like five months!  That is a long time to be away honestly.  I want to take this opportunity to apologize the a millionth time to all those who follow my blog and tell you that I am back now in full swing and it is my hope that I won’t miss in action again soon.  This encounter (listening to Naserian) made me sit down and write about what I am talking about on the above topic, in form of a query.

Ok.  Let me give you my version answer to my query though I know not all will agree with me.  But somehow you will learn something from my point of view. As I have always sung, I am born again and I love the Lord.  My journey has not been that smooth as much as I talk and write about my walk with Christ, but I am happy that one day I made this sweet decision to accept Christ as my Lord and Saviour.  He has been with me all along and as I focus on living a holy life I know very well it is not that easy but Jesus has always enabled me through his love and mercies.  He is a good God to me, because dying for a wretch like me, his love is just so amazing and that is why I will not give up on my Lord because, what he started in me, he will make sure that he has brought it to accomplishment.  So, I am not scared about my weak points because it is in those weak points that he has brought me closer to him and seen his unconditional love for me practically.  

Having said that, do I get lonely as I asked earlier?  First of all I will not shy away and say I am a single mum of two boys whom I am very proud of, and happy to be a mother to them.    I did not choose to be a single mum but I just found myself one, by the virtue of fate as I have always called it.  At the same time, a phenomenal that I always understand very well that Jesus is aware of because he bore all my pains as it relates to it and he knows how I always feel about this because it is a place I have never wished to be.  One would wonder, why am talking like being single is a crime.  I will say, it is not a crime at all and I should not make anyone single feel like they are missing out anything because we are all not the same.  We are all wired differently and we look at thing at a very different perspective which should always be respected.  But I will be open enough to let you know why I felt comfortable sharing what I felt online, knowing very well that is a very personal affair.

Well, on one of the last few days', I shared out something about my singleness and how I felt about it. 

 It went like this “A friend of mine a few days ago, shared with me and told me that she wishes she was single like me. As in all freedom is bestowed upon her. Well, as much as she tried to make me understand marriage is not that rosy as we may think, i think marriage is what one makes it to be. I beg to be corrected but i will tell all married women in there, please work out your marriages because out here it is not as easy as you may think. A time i cry alone and ask God why me? But he encourages me that i am not alone he is with me. As a single mum it is even trickier because we are rejected because we have children. I was shocked today when someone equaled us to vomit. It was a very bitter herb to swallow, but i was reminded i do not belong to that world. My God values me despite my weakness and He calls me his friend, child etc. My prayer is that He will give me a partner who i will never wish to let go and vice versa. That is the miracle i claim every day. I know many will judge me because of saying this, but now i have made my conclusion, it is better when one is married especially to a godly man than being alone. (Not to just any man). Not all men are called to be husbands and fathers. Majority of them need Jesus like never before in order to be promoted to those positions. To you single person, do not give up. It is never late. God will come at the right time. Focus on Him and He will direct your path. God bless you!). 

After I posted this, I did not expect anyone to comment or even like, but to my shock many people liked it and really encouraged me.  I was reminded that, I am not alone because majority that encouraged me were both married and single.  I concluded that they felt my pain, supported my wishes to be married and my singleness.  When I wrote that I was in my lowest moment which meant that, I felt very alone as much I know Christ and I love Him.  Most of the time as children of God, we try to put the face that we do not get lonely at some point in our lives.  And we make those who are in that place feel out of place and yet we should have avenues and forums that will address these moments to make them not feel alone and judged. In my case, that day, I wished Jesus was there for me in person so that he can hold my hand and give me his chest a lie on it and just feel him physically. I bet he knew very well that he could not be there in person as it was in the time when he was in this world physically, but promised me his helper Holy Spirit to encourage me and lift me up when I am lonely and at the same time create or make a man who would be his representation to give me the physical needs that I needed as a human being.  On my blog I said it is good for one to get a godly man and I hope I did not lock anyone out when I said that.  What I meant is that, someone who knows Christ and who aspires to be more like Jesus.  What I mean is that, this person will not be an exceptional, but through the guidance and the love of Christ he will be able to get a woman, love her just like Christ loved the Church and take care of her just like Jesus takes care of the Church.  I know very well marriage is not easy even for pastors or the clergy people, but I know there is a God who knows all these and He is ready to walk all those in marriages and give them a good marriage that can be admired by many.  As I know in the world of today, this is not very practical scenario but for those who believe and trust in Jesus I know they will support me as they know for theirs to be where it is, it has taken the hand of God and not their own power. 

On my side of world view, I would like to tell you as a child of God, sometimes it feels lonely and hard and especially when you are single with children this is because you know what is to be loved and to be left there out alone in the wilderness.  It is a hard journey because I know how it feels because that is where I am. There are times when I wonder who is this person who will appreciate me as I am with my children and still love me as I am.    I know it really makes us single mums feel like we are not worthy and even the world has painted that we are useless people who have no direction, something that I will object and say that you are as valuable as any other person on this universe.  When God created you, He knew your weakness and he was sure through your weakness he will bring forth his creation.   We are all equal in the eyes of God.  He is not a respecter of persons.   Do not regret about who you are as a single mother, single father single boy, single girl or even a married person.   You are all so valuable in the eyes of God whether married or single.  Happiness is not found in marriage or singleness but who you are with your Father in Heaven because joy comes from within you and not without you.  To be single and enjoy it you have to have the Joy inside yourself to survive all it takes to be single and in marriage there is no difference.  I know today, even if I enter in marriage I will not be full or happy because I got married but I will be happy that I have chosen to be married and start the journey which i am assured is not that easy, but with the help of my Lord, i will make it by being the one who makes it work as the Lord enables me.  That is why I have not given up on marriage and I am sure He will unite me with the person he has chosen for me.   If he does not, then he will give me and you the grace to be a single persons as he wishes.  Though I always wonder how they make it single for eternity because to me I feel I can’t imagine myself not having someone next to me for the rest of my life.  (That is me).  Anyway that is a debate that can take ages and fill in the whole internet and books for eternity.  All in all, I will conclude and say, marriage is a good thing and I believe it can work.  For the first time I am accepting that because now I am mature enough to make that conclusion.  But for the young ones as in younger than me they will find this statement crazy, and I will not judge you because I was in your shoes at some point and I felt like you feel right now as in how would you want to be married or the married asking themselves how would i wish to get married while they are crying to come out!  As time goes by, you will understand why the Lord said it is not good for a man to live alone.  He needs a helper or someone to share their life with.  Are you single out there?  Do not give up.  Join my prayer club so that we can pray together that the Lord opens a door for us we get spouses sooner than later and enjoy marriage because it is a good thing that God ordained.  For you married, work out your marriage and do not give up on it, because there are good things that are found in marriage.  For you who have chosen to be single forever, I pray for you that God will give you the Grace to the end and it shall be well for us all.  God bless you all. 

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I WAS SENT TO A DEN OF LIONS FOR SURE!

Every time I come here on this blog of mine, I pour out to you, all I have in my heart, not because I do not know what I am doing.  I post all what I post in relation to what I go through or face, just as a way of encouraging you, that, you are not alone when you go through what you go through.  The purpose of writing it down and saying as it is, is because I want to share what I have an experience about and not hear say.  Thank you so much for all the people who open and read my blog.  I am shocked as in from the time I started posting I have over 1700 people who have opened my blog.  It is my hope and prayer that they open and read not just flip on it and close.   I will not take it for granted because you are my unseen funs that I encourage and I pray that the Lord speaks to you through my writing.   To be honest I am not an expert I just write from my heart and I have never gone to any school of writing as you can see I write just like a lay man and not an expert.  As I said again on another post, I am not even a Pastor.  So just understand I write all this from a personal point of view.  My prayer is that, do not look for the expertise in it, but look at what the Lord is teaching or saying to you.  That is the most important point. I will also apologize that sometimes I find errors much later when I have posted my script which is not a very good gesture, but in future, I will be more careful. 

In 2011, I was going through a very tough time in my life, which included a very bad experience with my second born baby pregnancy in 2009.  That was a tough pregnancy and I always dread it.  At the same time I had a battle from my place of work.  I remember I had just finished a three days fast and immediately after the fast, one day when I walked in to my office, my boss who never used to talk to me or ask me anything, just came in and started throwing words towards me that were so intimidating and very embarrassing.  Somehow, I reacted out of it and I blew it out of proposition.  I told her what was exactly in my mind that really intimidated her and made her feel looked down upon.    I understood so well that she did that so that she can clearly tell me that she did not like me nor did she want me to work for her any more.  But that moment was a very good moment to part ways in a dramatic way that it was, which was also a prayer answered because I was tired of the way I was treated in that office and  little did she know I was also waiting for the moment too.  Immediately she told me to pack and go, I did exactly that and left her office.  Of course as I write, it sounds a very small misunderstanding which resulted to a small confrontation, but those who were there in real sense, saw the real drama because it was not just a joke confrontation from a boss and her secretary.  To cut the long and not so sweet story short, I left that office and went to report to the Human Resource Manager who of course would support my boss and not me as it has always been with the system of Civil Service.    Of this I knew, but my prayer was that am not sacked but just disciplined because of my insubordination behaviour which was on purpose.  I did that not because I am a terrible person, but I wanted to show my boss that I had just kept quiet all the time not because I did not see her frustration and intimidation, but I knew I was just there for a reason and a season, of which the end of the season had come, though it came the hardest way and in a drama like show.  As I said in my earlier post, people do not reason with me most of the time.   I do not know why, especially people that are negative and who look down upon others.  That experience forced me to be sent home for three days off so that they deliberate on where else they can transfer me to.  Thanks be to God it was to be a transfer and not a sacking.

After the three days, I was posted to another office that was equally the same, but this time round the person I was sent to, claimed to be born again and a pastor.  To me I was so excited that this time round I have fallen in the right hands.  Little did I know that even a pastor or whoever claims to be an angel is not one until you prove him/her wrong.  We had a good time and worked peacefully and harmoniously until the devil came in to interfere with the peace.  I remembered just the other day that I survived in that office without promotion, training, allowances and other benefits that I was entitled to in that office just because I treasured the peace that was so good for me for more than one and half years.   I did not realize that I dressed so badly, I ate very poorly, I struggled financially and I did not grow at all since I went in that office.  But there is one growth that I had grown, which was the Spiritual Growth.  I had a good time with my God because going through what I was going through, I needed God.  Thus I did not realize the pain I was going through.  When the intruder came in to separate me from my boss, of course it was also not a very good scenario also because the woman who came to bring these problems that resulted to my transfer, had calculated very well how she will go about it.  She started bringing him, porridge, food, fruits and the likes just to entice him and not to forget the work which she was trying to help him in as an expert in that line as they were working as a team.  To me, there was no big deal because that was their business and I was minding mine as an Administrative Assistant.  Not long did it go after I had worked with my boss for more than 1 year and 8 months, claims started coming from my boss that I come to the office late and leave early.  Something I did since I went to that office because I had a small baby.  We had agreed with my boss when we do not have a lot of work I can to go work at least one hour late and leave early so that I rush home to attend to my baby.  But that point in time, he could see it was a mistake or a problem when this woman came in.  Little did he know that this woman was using it as a strategy to kick me out of that office not knowing it was a directive that he had given me prior to her coming in, to help me take care of my new born baby.  I tried to reason with my boss, but he could not take what I was telling him and he banked on all what this woman was telling him.  The Rose you know from my past stories that enables you understand where am coming from, became real and told them what was in store of them all those days she was quiet.  The words were not kind as my earlier experience from my former office and they felt like little children because I exposed to them the affair they had that they thought I was not aware of.  I made sure that they get what they wanted to hear from me that I had kept to myself so that they also know my other side which is not very sweet especially when an enemy attacks me.  He reported me to the Human Resource Manager, and do not want to know the punishment that I was awarded this time round but I will tell you even though.  It was the worst of all but also my pay back for my disobedience which is a norm to anyone who disobeys and it is allowed because out of it we always learn our lessons positively or negatively depending on the kind of the disobedience.  I had just finished my 21 days fast and immediately I finished it that is when the drama started and I was transferred.  I was still again praying to my God that something not very bad be done to me  because I knew deep down my heart all what I was doing was intentional because of what the devil was trying to frustrate me on, pulling me down so that I do not reach my destiny.  But because God has good plans for me, something had to happen to remove me there and in my case it was not going to be a good thing but I always do not mind when my God comes knocking to sort me out.  I always take it positively whether it looked good or bad because at the end of the day, the Lord will fight my battles and will direct my peace.  Then, the Lord reminded me as his child I will go through all these pains, not because he is not aware, but because he wants me to go through the fire and since he is with me and he is training me to walk in his ways, then, I have to be tested in the hardest way for me to go to my next level.  Of course, no one would love to go through pain in order to go to their next level but I will tell you, the intense of your pain will also marry the responsibility, strength, and power for that next level he is taking you.  I remember asking God, why he would allow something like that to happen to me and yet I had just come from prayer and fasting for 21 days?  You can imagine that!  Put yourself in my shoes you would wonder the same.  But I was reminded of Jesus when he fasted for 40 days. He was not spared either, after that fast, he was tested by the devil.  Anyway, the Lord showed me something after my verdict was reached on what discipline I should get after in-subordinating my second boss in that Ministry.  I was equally this time round very scared because I knew that, it was the second bladder with a heavier punishment.  So they resolved to transfer me to another Department out of the Headquarters that was so far from my house.  When I was told where I will be posted, I asked of the Lord, is it a good place?  The Lord told me to refuse to be taken to that one, but chose another one which was also the same in relation to the punishment but towards my house.  When I told my bosses the alternative place I would have loved them post me which was equally the same in terms for the punishment, they were very comfortable with my decision and I was written for a releasing letter to the place which the Lord showed me that,  I will be there as a Daniel in the Den!  At that time I did not understand why God equaled the place to a den of Lions, but he had given me a vision in relation to it, but since he told me the place that you have been sent is not a bed of roses, but a very hard place for you, he wanted me to be strong and know that he will be with me and take heart because he will be with me as he was with Daniel.  I closed that chapter knowing what it entailed for me though I had not experienced the place.  He prepared me in advance through the vision. 

I reported to my place of work which kinder looked rosy compared to where I had come from but as time went by it really became a Den of Lions.  People started hating me from nowhere; I was given the wrong office to work.  Things became bad on my side.  I even had a very bad accident that no one was even ready to say sorry to me.  Actually people behaved like they would have loved if I did not make it after the accident.  I went through a very bad depression and no one showed any kind of sympathy or concern on what I was going through.  Things became so tough on my side.  I even tried to go to my Head of Secretarial to ask for a Ministerial transfer and I was told the next place they could afford transferring me since there were no good places to be taken, was worse than even where I was when they mentioned the place.  I just opted to remain in the den I was thrown to than the paradise I was praying to be taken.   I rested my case and told God to help me and guide me as I struggle in the den.  To be honest this is the time now am seeing what the Lord was showing me that time.  That, after he rescues me from this den, surely, he will lift and crown me.    Fortunately or unfortunately, all the people who were intimidating and frustrated me that time are not doing well.  Actually, one of them was stopped work; the others are struggling in their places of work in relation to what happened when the new Government came in.  The Lord is lifting me today.   I am healed from the  depression and I am waiting my next posting which came from God and it a posting for a better office, with better pay and other good things that I have wished for in life.  I celebrate my Lord for this far he has brought me.  Today, I look different not because I have earned more salary, but because I have the peace of God which surpasses all the understanding.  When he elevates me to my next level, I will go there in mind that he is the one who has elevated me for his glory and not mine.  I celebrate the Love that the Lord has for me not because of my goodness or badness, but the relationship I have with him which is a strong relation that enables me understand that, when he passes me through a storm, is not to punish me but to take me to my next level so that he can use me for his Kingdom.  Thank you Jesus for the gift of Salvation that has set me free and is taking me places and making me who you want me to be awaiting your coming which is soon! 

I want to encourage you today my reader.  The devil has been doing things behind your back and on your face to curtail you from reaching your destiny; I want to tell you, do not give up.  As long as you are on God’s side, do not be shaken.  He will give you the courage and strength to face the giant.  And once you are out of the test, God is going to elevate you and crown you. Remember the most important thing here is that you know him as your Lord and Saviour.  The journey, he will walk you through it whether it will be rough or smooth.  Not because you are too good or too talented, but because he has chosen you and called you his own.  He understands you just the way you are with your strengths and weaknesses.  You do not need to make up anything, you only need to surrender to him and he will cover you with his righteousness and he will start walking with you and making you whole to the end of time.  Do not be scared to make that decision today of accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour.  If I did not do that, years back, I do not think I could overcome all the temptations and storms that the Lord has enabled me pass through.  I give him all the glory and honour and now I understand why he has been training through the hardest way.  He has something so great in store for me. 

God bless you all and be encouraged from my testimony.